It's Not That Easy Being Green
by emmakate3082
Summary: Florence Carrow, a Slytherin girl in her last year of Hogwarts education, is fast approaching having to make the decision between following her family and friends and following her heart. Follow her in her final year as events cloud the way to decision time, making it even more difficult than she'd ever imagined.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

"What did you say?" he asked me calmly; it wasn't a calm I was used to, though, not a calm that made him seem in control of the situation as it usually did. It was one in which he just stared blankly at me, no expression on his face to be see. How was I meant to respond to this? How are meant to respond to a boy, who's been a good friend of yours for seven years now, who's obviously seeking approval and support in what will probably be the most stressful time of his life, with the answer he's not looking for, when he looks at you like this?

He looked at me in this stumped way for what seemed like a couple of years, although in real time it was probably no more than five seconds; as he did so, it not only felt like he was sucking out my soul, like the dementor he pretended to be all those years ago at the Quidditch match, it felt like he was looking into it, too. I can tell you this, there is nothing worse than having probably your dearest friend look into your eyes, judging whether or not your relationship is a lie.

This time, Draco shouted, "What did you say?!"

What you just read is what's yet to come, and what's yet to come is war.

My name is Florence Carrow and I'm in my final year of Hogwarts education. I'm taking NEWTs in Potions, Transfiguration, Herbology, Charms and Defence Against the Dark Arts, which, as you can probably guess, entitles a career as a Healer, if all goes well. Quite a lot of this comes at my family's dismay, though, as, as you have also probably guessed, my family has a history with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.

I'm still not sure how I feel about this yet; I've grown up with the tradition and custom of referring to Muggle-borns as Mudbloods, speaking ill of Muggles, Dark Marks on the forearm, threats of the Cruciartus curse as a form of punishment, anything you can really think of growing up in a house of Death Eaters. I mean, don't get me wrong, it wasn't a bad upbringing. Happiness isn't a foreign emotion, even if your parents are dark wizards, and fun isn't a rarity. There are dark times, as you'd expect when you're living under the Dark Lord, but that didn't have to last long as long as you behaved.

So yes, they're the kind of folk who have problems my choices thus far. They don't see the point in studying Defence Against the Dark Arts, "Dear, why do you feel the need to defend against it when your family history suggests you should embrace it?" my Dad would ask me. I was stumped for a while after first telling them I wanted to take it as a NEWT, but found a good excuse.

"Well, the way I see it," I'd begin, "Part of learning to defend yourself is learning what to defend yourself against. And also, what's the point in learning at school something I could probably learn better at home, with you?" Complementing my Father was always a sure fire way to his soft side. For a Pure Blood supremacist, my Dad really was a bit of a softy off-duty.

The other thing my parents fail to see the point of is being a Healer, or having any professional occupation really, "What's wrong with following in the line of work your aunt and uncle have gone into?" What's wrong with being a Death Eater, mother? What's wrong with killing people with different views to you or with the 'wrong' kind of heritage? Well I'll tell you one reason why mother; apart from it being morally wrong and totally barbaric, I somehow don't think you get paid to do such things. There isn't a Death Eater's Union or an agency or anything that will hire you to carry out little assassinations. So I reply to her, "Eating death doesn't pay the bills," but this kind of humour always seems to rub her up the wrong way so she tends to leave at that point.

So, as you can see, the situation with my family is fragile. I'm seventeen now so I'm of age, but until now I've had to conform to what I'm told. I wanted to do Care of Magical Creatures as an extra NEWT but was told that I'm "not going to be taught by that incompetent idiot that Dumbledore's foolishly elected as a professor". I thought about Apothecary as well but was told that was a stupid subject and a waste of time.

Then there's my friends. Being in Slytherin is great and all, especially when your favourite colour was green anyway, because we have probably the coolest common room which have views of under the actual lake, and we get sympathy and all from Snape which should never be taken for granted. The same goes for my friends, they're great too, but they do have certain standards that they like to uphold. Pansy jabs me in the ribs anytime I so much as smile at a Gryffindor; Zabini comes and 'rescues' me if ever end up too close to one, telling me I'm "very welcome" after; Muggle-borns don't even dare breath the same air as Pike unless forced to; and Crabbe and Goyle aren't really clever enough to form their own opinions so they just react in accordance with what everyone else thinks and punch anyone who disagrees with that.

Then there's Draco. He was the first friend I made here, really, unless you count the couple of hours I spent on the train with Hermione searching for someone's frog. He's in the same situation as me but it's obvious that he's got a bit more pressure riding on his decision, being a Malfoy and all. If I do anything out of the Slytherin character, yes, okay he frowns at me, but I feel like that's happening less now, like he's starting to just not care. He's a complex one, our Draco. He keeps up his tough and in charge façade when in the public eye, but out of it you can see it drop, and what's left appears really quite vulnerable. Especially last year; in fifth year everything seemed normal, enhanced if anything given his title in the Inquisitorial squad, but last year he seemed different. Like something was eating away at him.

They're like my Hogwarts family: we have an amazing time together and, as you can see, have each other's backs, but there are certain appearances that they feel necessary to keep up. I wouldn't dare tell them about wanting to do something like Care of Magical Creatures, the ridicule would be insufferable, and we never really talk about life after school, seems more sensible to live in the now considering the current circumstances.

As I said before, what's coming is war. Anybody can tell that, even Crabbe and Goyle and that's saying something. Lots of families don't want their children coming back to Hogwarts; it's bad enough for them that the Dark Lord is back but now that Dumbledore's well… Gone, Hogwarts has entered the long list of once secure places that are no longer safe. Of course, my family has no problem with me going back. Apparently, Snape being made headmaster is a blessing, and the fact that my own aunt and uncle, Alecto and Amycus, are now employed there for whatever reason is also amazing. Nothing to do with the fact that it'll be the most important year of my education, of course, nothing to do with that.

So being in this family in this particular time adds a certain amount of pressure onto the shoulders of people like me. Do I follow in the path of my family and fight on the side of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named in this looming battle, or do I follow what my gut instinct says and go against my family?


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

The atmosphere on Platform 9¾ on 1st September, going back to school for my final year, was very different to anything I'd experienced before. Parents were crying as they said goodbye to their children, and the children were crying, too, as their parents were nearly forcing them onto the train. I heard one little boy screaming out for his mummy as his big sister carried him on board, "No! Don't make me go! What if there's nothing to come home to at Christmas?! What if there's nothing _to_ come home by Christmas?! Mummy, make her put me down! MUMMY!"

Seeing this poor woman forcing herself through her son's screams, not knowing whether she was doing the right thing or not, it's painful enough to watch, let alone to be a part of.

Of course, not everyone was like that; Draco walked onto the platform on his own for the third year in a row, to set off for his last year by himself. My parents never stuck around to see the train go off, so once I'd bid them farewell for the last time, I joined him while we waited for the rest of the crew. As I got nearer and nearer, his expressions became clearer and clearer, but not necessarily easier to understand. He looked as though he was determined to keep his cool and just get through the day, there was no look of arrogance or superiority like there usually was.

I crept up behind him and rested my head on his left shoulder, "Hello stranger," I said cheekily, hoping to lift his mood a bit, "Miss me?"

"Oh, it's you!" he replied, releasing the grip on his wand that he'd just taken in caution, "Fuckin' hell, Flo, don't creep up on my like that I was about to Hex you!"

I took my head off his shoulder and sat down on my trunk, "Sorry, Malfoy," I giggled, smiling up at him as if to invite him to take a seat, too.

He didn't. He resumed his staring off into the distance, but added, "I did miss you though, Carrow."

"Why didn't you reply to any of my owls then?" I asked, jumping up onto my knees so I was a little taller, "Pansy had a knees up for her birthday and everyone was wondering where you were! And then I was round your way with Blaise-"

"I had… Family business most of the time, to be honest."

"Not even time to send a little owl my way?"

He looked down at me this time and gave me a little smirk, "I'm sorry, Florence."

I replied the smirk, and he resumed staring into the distance once more.

"I bet Pansy got an owl or two." I added tauntingly.

He crashed down on my trunk with his head in his hand, "Oh don't even get me started on Pansy!" I could tell he was annoyed but there was an unmistakable smirk in his voice, "'Draco, my parents and I are going out for tea tonight, do you wanna join?', 'Draco, do you wanna come round tomorrow? My parents will be out with the neighbours', 'Draco, I haven't got any replies, am I not receiving any or are you just ignoring me?'" His impression of her was rather incredible.

"It's just 'cause she luuurves you!"

"Shut up, Flo! She threatened to send me a howler at one point!"

"Oh, come on, Malfoy, even you can't deny it's funny! You're laughing!"

"Laughing at what?" Blaise was standing above us, looking down upon us curiously.

"Blaise!" I blurted out as I jumped up and threw my arms around him.

"Hey kid," he beamed back as he returned my hug.

"Blaise, my man," Malfoy echoed and he went in for that half-handshake-half-hug thing that guys do.

"How's it going Malfoy? What were you both laughing at?" Blaise inquired.

"Problems with the bitches-"

"Pansy's still all like 'let me love you, Draco!' and he's still all 'how about no' and I still find the whole affair rather funny." I answered for him before he could come out of something completely derogatory.

"Well how can you not?" Blaise confirmed, crossing to stand by next to me to show his agreement, "Mate, how long has this been going on for now? I'll answer for you, too long! Just tell her no, man!"

"I. Have. Tried. But every time I do something gets in the way! It's like she senses it or the universe senses it and is like 'you know what? How about no'!"

This went on for a while, and people slowly started to fill the station platform as it did. The top surface my suitcase started filling with the arses of my friends, and oh what a shame it was all full by the time Crabbe and Goyle had arrived. The conversation subject changed slightly, once Pansy had arrived, to what everyone had done over the summer, instead of the vast amounts of owls that Draco had received from a certain Miss Parkinson.

"Pike, stop it," Pansy ordered, "Finite Incantatum!" The birds disappeared.

"Avis!" He cast under his breath. Another two birds flew out the end of his wand; one flew off to land, and subsequently shit, on Goyle's head, the other landed on the top of Pansy's magazine once more.

"Pike! For pity's sake just leave the bird's alone! Finit-"

"No!" I interrupted, "Just shrug it off, they're cute."

"Whatever. Just keep it off my magazine."

Once given the evils, the bird, which I named Chickpea, stayed away from Pansy as ordered. He was a beautiful shade of light green and no bigger than my palm. He spent most of the journey either nuzzled into my neck or flying or walking around the table. Pansy ended up moving because "he was getting too close, he really was!" but that just meant that Chickpea and I could now spread out across two seats and fall asleep.

I woke up apparently an hour and a half later in a very different position to how I fell asleep; it wasn't anything drastic like lying on the table with one foot out the window and one in someone's face (I wish), I just wasn't lying down anymore. Chickpea had retreated to the comfort of Draco's hand, enjoying some gentle petting and chirping softly with each touch. I, however, was sat with my feet on my seat, my head on Blaise's shoulder and his left arm around my shoulders, his hand playing with my hair. Pike was also asleep, but I'm rather hoping that I looked a bit more graceful than him.

As you can imagine, I awoke rather confused.

"Blaise… Blaise, what're you doing?"

His hand left my hair immediately, "Sorry, Carrow."

"Blaise?"

His hand whipped round my shoulder and onto the table, "And again."

"Blaise, mate, are you okay?" I asked, turning to him with an inquisitorial grin.

"That's what I kept asking him!" Draco exclaimed, still focusing on Chickpea, entranced.

"And?" I enquired.

"He just nodded, really."

"You sure, mate?"

"Yeah, absolutely fine…" Blaise replied.

"Okay, who cast Confundus on him this time?"

"None of us, he's just been in a bit of a daze since he came and sat here. Crabbe!" he shouted "Oi, dickhead! Which of you did it this time?"

"Did what?" he grunted back.

"Confundus? Zabini?"

"Not us this time, bud!"

"Beats me, then," Draco concluded, "You'd tell us if something was wrong, yeah?" he asked, finally diverting his attention from Chickpea.

"Yeah." He replied, finally diverting his attention from the horizon.

"Promise?" I asked.

He turned to me, looking me right in the eye, "Yeah."

"Well that's alright then!"

It went quiet for a while as we resumed rather more normal positions than we had done when we woke up. Pike was still assuming the role of Sleeping Beauty, Blaise woke up somewhat and started talking to someone across the aisle from him, Draco continued falling in love with Chickpea, and I started staring out the window. The nearby was shooting past in a monochrome blur, but the far away was as clear as could be; a brilliant blue-grey sky above the rolling countryside of uneven landscapes and frequent small lakes.

"Can we keep him?" Draco piped up after a bit.

"Who? Pike?" Blaise began, "Well I know he really belongs in the wild but I'm sure they can find him a bed somewhere in the castle. We all laughed.

"No! No, of course not, they'll take one look at him and send him straight to London zoo!" We laughed even harder, "But no seriously, with regards to Chickpea here," he started, nodding towards the little bird, "You reckon they'll let us keep him?"

"I'm sure if we find a cage or something for him it'll be fine," I smiled, beckoning him back to my hand, "I mean, people keep toads, and a little bird can't be more trouble or mess than that, can it?"

"Well we just have to find a cage then!" Draco decided, "Anybody that good at Transfiguration that they can make something like a cage yet?"

"Mate, I couldn't even make that goblet in first year so don't go looking at me for help!" Blaise pointed out, "Oi, Carrow, you're meant to be taking Transfiguration this year, fancy giving it a whirl?"

"Me? Oh no no no I am _terrible_! I'm only taking it to have the option of being a Healer!" I confessed, "I'll go and find Pansy, she's at least half decent."

"Crabbe!"

"What is it now, Malfoy?" Crabbe asked, exacerbated.

"Parkinson still with you?"

"Ooh, what's it to you?" He replied, teasingly.

"No, shut it, knob-head. We need her for some Transfiguration business."

"You finally decided to sort out your small dick issues?" Goyle piped up; everyone started cackling.

"Oh fuck off and just tell us where Pansy is, will you?!"

"She said she's gone to get some fresh air and a caldron cake."

"You stay put Malfoy, I'll find her." I said, slapping Crabbe round the head as I passed.

I started to wonder the corridors of the Hogwarts Express, witnessing something very different to what I saw on the Platform. Children were looking happier now, I suspect it had something to do with being among friends. What they say on your first day is true, while at Hogwarts, your house will be like your family. In my opinion, friends are like the family you choose, so it's not hard to see why you're more at ease once around them.

Traipsing through the train like this had become very nostalgic, to the point of feeling eleven years old once more. If only, life was so much simpler; you didn't have to think about future careers and how what you do now might affect them; you didn't have to think too much about what kind of person you were making friends with because there were no 'rules' for that yet, you could just spend a couple of hours with a soon-to-be-Gryffindor Muggle-born and nobody would think it was strange or out of line at all; you didn't have to think about how that Hufflepuff boy was staring at you strangely and hatefully.

"What're you looking at, MacMillan?" I enquired.

"We were talking about staff changes to the school," Ernie started, resentfully, "Not all of us are lucky enough to have family working at the school."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, advancing on him in a manner that I'd become so accustom to seeing Draco do.

"Exactly what it sounded like, Carrow. Everyone knows that your relatives have been employed here now that Snape's in charge, heads of punishment if I remember correctly?"

"Yeah, something like that. Why does that give you the right to get all bitchy with me though?"

"Well they're hardly gonna be punishing their… Their-"

"Niece." I interrupted.

"They won't be punishing their niece, will they?"

"I wouldn't be so sure of that." I muttered under my breath.

"I mean, it's just such a convenient time to have family members in the staff, isn't it?" he started, rising to his feet and raising his voice so the whole carriage could hear, "He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named has risen back to power, Snape's headmaster of the school, and there's sure to be a crack-down on discipline and shit, so how great it must be to not have to worry about all that because you're in all the good books you need to be in at the best time possible!"

"Hey! You make it sound like a made this happen! It's just a coincidence! How could you even suggest that I could have anything whatsoever to do with it?!"

"This guy giving you trouble, Flo?" came an unexpected voice from behind me.

"No, Pansy, it's fine," I answered scornfully, "I was actually just looking for you."

"Well let's go back to our carriage, get away from these guys."

"Yeah, we need some help from you with Transfiguration," and we started walking back to the others.

"Fuck's sake, Flo, you're not behind on homework _already _are you?" she joked.

We giggled about how likely that's gonna be and how soon all the way back to the carriage, and once we got there, Blaise and Draco seemed to be having a serious discussion; Pike was still asleep in his graceful custom.

"I just don't know how long left I'll have left to well… At least try. You know what I mean?" I heard Blaise confide.

"Yeah, I do, man, but I just don't know if it's such a great idea." Draco replied.

"Well, I guess I'll just have to judge circumstances and all."

"What's going on, guys?" I asked, as the two of us squashed onto the spare seat next to Blaise.

"Oh! Err… Nothing, nothing to worry about." He answered, hurriedly.

"Fair does. So what's the Transfiguration crap you want me doing?"

So Draco and I explained about how we wanted a bird cage forming, nothing big, we stressed, as Chickpea was only a little guy. Although Pansy resisted for a while, as she was so adamant about his mere existence in the first place, we convinced her by promising to keep him under control and bring her a couple more caldron cakes before the journey was up. Gosh, she really does love those things.

And so, after goodness knows how long of looking through books, and trying this, and looking through books, and trying that, we finally conjured up a suitable cage for Chickpea. It was simple, base slightly bigger than Blaise's hand and height no longer than my forearm, curving towards a point at the top with a handle on top so that you can carry it.

"It's perfect!" I exclaimed, giving Pansy a hug.

"What?" Pike was gently waking up now, "What's perfect?"

"Pansy conjured us a cage so we can keep Chickpea!"

"What's Ansel gonna make of that?" Pike pointed out.

I paused, "Shit…" I began, smiling but puzzled, "I didn't actually think about Ansel…" Ansel was my pet Northern Hawk owl; he was probably medium sized for an owl, I've never really thought about it before, and he was very fat. And when I say fat, I mean like it physically hurt to carry him around the castle now. People keep making fun, saying 'oh I'm sure he's not that heavy, it's just the feathers making him look plump', but then they pick him up and see why I have to use a Levitating charm to get him around. I keep wondering whether or not to put him on a diet, but then I remember he's an owl… Who on earth puts an owl on a diet? Not me, so I just have to deal with his obese state.

"Oh gosh! And Moose!" Pansy pointed out, startled. Moose was Pansy's Burmilla cat. She got him when she went on holiday to Canada with her parents the summer before first year, and she'd apparently had good views of a heard of moose from their hotel room. We let her off, she was only eleven at the time, but only to an extent. I mean that cat must have some identity issues, what with being named after another kind of animal. He doesn't show it though, he just struts around the place acting like he owns it, walking into rooms expecting love and attention, which he gets because it's really rather funny.

"Well, Chickpea tends to stay very close to people when he's out; either that or perched high up," Draco stated, "So as long as we keep an eye on him it'll all be fine!"

"I can't believe this is our last year," Blaise let out.

I turned to him, "Is that what's been eating you?"

"Yeah. I mean, it's hardly gonna be a normal year is it? Snape being head will be pretty great for us, sure, but people are gonna be missing. People whose parents didn't want them coming back, people who are gonna go missing-"

"What?" Pansy interrupted.

"Well the ministry's clamping down on Mudbloods, Thicknesse is sending out the guys called Snatchers to… Well 'snatch' them all to take them in for interrogation. So if you think the number of students has decrease, it's likely it'll keep going that way."

"But that's terrible!" I said, without thinking.

"Hey, they're Mudbloods," Draco started, "Everybody has their rightful place, the ministry's just deciding to section off who's is here, in our world, and who's is with the Muggles."

We stared into each other's eyes for a moment, unblinking and serious. The amount of times that Draco and I had had the conversation of rights for Muggles and Muggle-borns with respect to that of Purebloods and Half-Bloods was very high. We've both been brought up with the same ideology that those who are Muggles and Muggle-borns are beneath those who aren't; where we split is that he's fine with accepting this, I'm not. We've learnt to just abort the conversation if it gets to this point and move onto something else, as if we let it going on it usually gets to shouting and the like. I always lose because our other friends side with him, be it by their own accord or by mindless agreement because they're too dim to have their own views.

"Anyway," I said, breaking the silence, "Zabini's right, school's gonna be different this year."

"Yeah, what with the registered fucking _Death Eaters _on the staff! I mean, this just confirms that some dark shit is going on at the moment _everywhere_. Like, you can't even escape from it at school! I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing, really. What happens if you step out of line? Cruciatus curse? Don't you think it's kind of worr-"

Pansy was interrupted, because at that moment, the train suddenly came to a halt.

"What's happening? Are we getting off here? I don't see a platform." Goyle dimwittedly panicked.

"Of course we're not there you complete and utter twat!" I blurted out, actually annoyed by his stupidity, "We've probably just broken down or something, I'm sure it's fine."

Chickpea, before quite content in his new little home, had fallen off his perch and was panicking slightly until he got back up. I took him out and started stroking him as he rested on my shoulder, in the hope that it'd calm me down a bit. The Hogwarts Express never breaks down, it's a bloody magical steam engine for pity's sake! I've only really experienced it stopping before Hogsmeade once before, and I'll be damned if I'm gonna sit here again through the sudden cold as Dementors search the bloody carriages, no way in a thousand years!

At that moment, Avery stormed through the train, looking very hell bent on something.

"What the fuck is a Death Eater doing on the train?!" Pansy asked in a hush.

"Well, you were saying about how they're being employed in the castle now, maybe the trolley lady's suddenly become sick and he's her replacement?" I suggested, mockingly.

Blaise smirked, "That's likely!" he answered sarcastically, "If that's so, where's all the sweets?"

"Crabbe's probably got to her already." Draco added. The three of us laughed for a moment, but stopped as soon as we saw the black smoke darting through the carriage, rustling through hair and knocking everything over. For the second time this journey, I found Blaise's hand around my shoulder, but as soon as normality was restored, it retreated without a word.

I turned to him looking into his eyes, his panicked, wild eyes, and I didn't think about what he'd just done but how there must be so many pairs of eyes like this right now. Children who were just seeking comfort in their Hogwarts family from their harsh reality had now been returned to it, and must be scared witless. I don't know how they'll be dealing with it, but I do know the question that must be on their lips right now.

"What the fuck was that all about?!" Pike finally said, still flustered like the rest of us.

"I don't know," Pansy started, "But if it's anything to go by, this years is _definitely _gonna be different to the rest; stricter.

"I'm gonna go and see if I can find anything out." I announced, giving Chickpea to Draco.

"I'll come with." Blaise added.

We set off down the carriage at a pace, discussing and consequently betting on what Death Eaters could've wanted on the Hogwarts Express. Seeing as we couldn't settle the debate ourselves, our search had even more fuel behind it, driving us in our competition.

It turned out that neither of us were right.

"Well," a girl called Hannah started, taking a deep breath before setting off at quite a pace, "Neville told Luna who told Cho who told Marcus who told Roger who told Lisa who told," she took another deep breath, "Leanne who told Zacharias who told Justin who told me," she took another breath, but not as deep or exaggerate as the last, "They were looking for Harry."

"Potter?" we both asked at the same time, Blaise rather more disgustedly than me.

"Well what other Harry are Death Eaters gonna be looking for?" she asked sarcastically, turning away.

"Ta, Hannah." I called out as the carriage door shut behind her.

We walked back to everyone slightly slower and calmer as we had going to find out the truth. Harry Potter? Do they honestly think he'd be dumb enough to come back to Hogwarts at a time like this? With everyone keeping an eye out for him? Even if he was, Hermione certainly wouldn't be.

"They were looking for Potter." I announced as we made it back.

"Potter?!" Pansy shouted, as if she had a vendetta against him, "What business does he think he has? Coming back to Hogwarts now?"

"Oh, I don't know, maybe finishing off his education the best he can with a dark wizard out to get him?"

"He has no right!"

"He has every right!"

In the moment she paused for, I began thinking I'd won. Then I remembered I was defending a boy my friends all hated, "Why are you sticking up for him, Flo?" Pansy finally asked.

"I'm not, I'm just-"

"Oh yes you are!" Pike added, trying to contribute meaningfully to the debate.

"I'm not, if you just let me finish!" I yelled, "I'm trying to speak generally about a very specific subject. If one of you guys was trying come back to finish you school life even though pretty much the odds were completely and utterly against you, I would believe that you had the right to do so if that's what you wanted." We were all silent for a moment, "Of course," I added, trying to somewhat brighten the mood, "You'd be fucking stupid to do some."

They all mumbled in agreement at this. Everything anyone said was pretty incomprehensible for a short period, until Draco finally said, "I guess we'll be arriving soon." You could tell he was more engrossed in Chickpea than his environment again, he sound very spaced out again.

"Malfoy's right; nearly time to start the new year," Blaise began, just as spaced out as he was after I woke up, "We're going back to Hogwarts for the very last time."

"Alright, alright no need to sound so downhearted!" Pike stated, "It's gonna be a kick ass year! We're at the top of the school! It'll be awesome!"

"Yeah; let's just hope that there won't be too much dark shit to cloud all the 'awesomeness'." Pansy added quite glumly.

If only Pansy's hopes came true. How were we to know that war was in store?


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

As we made our way from Hogsmeade to Hogwarts through the steadily increasing rainfall, pretty much all anybody could talk about was the appearance of Death Eaters on the train. Some kids still looked shell-shocked from the whole experience, some didn't actually know what had gone on; apparently they didn't search all the way through the train. Some kids were actually upset that they'd missed all the excitement, even though their friends were still tearful with terror… I know it'll make me sound old before my time but I don't really understand children sometimes.

Once in the castle, we were directed straight to our common rooms to get changed, quickly, and be in the Great Hall for a prompt start. Pansy and I were sharing a room with the same three girls as we'd been sharing with since first year: Millicent Bulstrode, Hazel Rosier and Amelia Nott. As you would expect with five girls living together for seven years, things have been known to get really rather bitchy at times; Pansy and I are best friends so we usually automatically side together when fights break out, but when us two get into fights with each other, it's probably best to run.

So we exchanged hugs and quick and brief stories about the holidays, knowing full well that we'd be up in the small hours talking about it all properly, while we got changed into our robes. These were as much a part as being home than anything; a white shirt, green and silver tie, grey cardigan, black skirt, grey tights and boots. Despite the current circumstances, it felt good to be back. After savouring the moment while I sat on my bed waiting for the others, we headed back to the heart of the common room to meet the others.

"How is it that you guys always take so long getting ready?" Pike sighed.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Pike! I didn't realise you were an expert in putting tights on without getting ladders in them every time!" Pansy complained loudly.

"Well you don't have to wear them you know." he added cheekily with a wink.

"Oh fuck off, dick-head," she retorted, turning away from him and towards Draco, putting her hands on his shoulder, "Shall we set off then?"

He shrugged her as, accompanied by the discrete giggles of Blaise and I, "Yep, let's go, guys."

We set off down the halls of the castle, making our way to the Great Hall for what would be our last sorting ceremony. In a way, that was a blessing, because unless you're actually _being _sorted, they are boring as anything, but in another sense, it was marking the beginning of the end of an era. In an entirely different sense, I hadn't eaten on the train journey, so I was really hungry and just wanted to skip to the feast. The seas of people parted as we walked through; people knew it was best just to keep out of the way when Draco was traipsing through the halls, especially with Crabbe and Goyle in his wake. We arrived in the Great Hall with the floods of students filling the tables, obviously just as hungry as me.

We hung around, making sure we were all sitting comfortably for the long night ahead. Then, all of a sudden, a great booming voice could be clearly heard.

"Settle down now." Snape commanded, "In a few moments, the new first years will be entering into these halls to get sorted. I would just like to remind you all to treat them with respect, and to _be kind._ They're going to need friendship at a time like this more than ever." He trailed off at the end. It was at this moment that I realised just how long we were going to be stuck here; Snape talks a lot more slowly than Dumbledore.

The first years walked in rather quickly, huddled together like penguins in a blizzard. In past years, the heard of fresh meat usually came in buzzing with excited anticipation, but this year they looked more like the sooner they got in, the sooner it'd be over and the sooner Christmas would come.

"There's so few of them in comparison to past years!" Blaise whispered close to my right ear.

"Why do you sound so surprised, Zabini?" I replied, "It's not as if it's safe anymore."

"Fair point."

Even though the sorting ceremony was shortened, it didn't feel like it. It still felt as though the Sorting Hat insisted on taking hours at a time to deliberate which house every single student should be in, like some sort of internal battle.

"Before we commence with the feast, I have a few words I wish to say to you all."

"Here we go." I heard Pansy groan.

"Firstly, we have a few changes to the staff this year. Due to his untimely death at the end of the last academic year," he paused, "I have replace Albus Dumbledore as the headmaster of the school. He will be sorely missed, but time insists that we must move on. As I will be spending the vast majority of my time tending to this role, I have employed Amycus Carrow as professor of Defence Against the Dark Arts to act as my replacement," Amycus nodded at this, I guess to signify to the children who weren't his niece, that Snape meant him, "And I've also appointed his sister, Alecto Carrow, as our new professor of Muggle Studies; the reason for this being as her predecessor, Charity Burbage, decided to resign from the post over the summer." Draco jumped slightly at this, which seemed very out of character, "I hope you will all do your upmost to make them feel welcome.

"Secondly, there are going to be a few changes to the rules this year. The school day will run the same as usual, but dinner will be held from 5 until 7pm, after which students must remain in their common rooms until breakfast the next morning. Exceptions to this will be rare and warned of in advance; tonight is _not _one of these exceptions. Student formed clubs must first be approved of by a Head of House, and then by myself, and only with the consent of both professors may the club commence. All other school created clubs will continue as usual. Owl mail will continue as usual, but a screening process will take place from now on. Departure from school grounds will only occur in cases of the upmost importance and urgency; for this reason, the Floo Powder network and all exit points out of the grounds will be under observation 24/7, and all trips to Hogsmeade are hereby cancelled. Your parents have been notified of these last two changes."

Hazel leant over to me, "I heard," she began in a whisper, "That there are curses and charms over all of the exits, even though they've got Dementors and Death Eaters manning them!"

"Bloody hell, they really want to keep us in, don't they?" Pansy commented.

"Any breaches of any rules, new or pre-existing, will induce severe punishments. These will be dealt by Professors Carrow and Carrow, who are also acting as our heads of discipline."

I felt as though the eyes of Ernie MacMillan on me again at that point, and sure enough, they were. He was looking at me intensely again, the same as on the train. This time he was shaking his head too, as if to say 'You won't get away with this'. How is it my fault that my aunt and uncle have found employment and that just happens to be where I go to school? Just fuck off MacMillan.

"That is all for the time being. Let the feast," Snape cleared his throat, "Begin."

As we were all accustomed to by now, the food magically appeared out of thin air before our very eyes. This year we were seated in front of a plate of pork chops, roast potatoes, gravy, carrots, crackling, anything that you could really think of that would make for an incredible roast dinner. Crabbe and Goyle were practically orgasming at the mere sight of it all.

We didn't talk much through the meal as we were so engrossed in gorging ourselves on the bountiful food in front of us; even Pansy was pretty quiet for once, even though she'd had at least three caldron cakes on the way here. She'd been known to have the appetite of a pig and the metabolism of… Well of something that has really high metabolism I'm not entirely sure what.

Once we'd all finished our Eton mess, profiteroles, ice cream and jelly, syrup pudding, chocolate cake, meringue nests, treacle tart, Knickerbocker glory or, if you're Pansy, what appeared to be several hundred caldron cakes, it was getting close to 7pm, so we headed off to the common room. All the first years were in there rooms by the time we got there, and there was a slow trickle of students retiring for the night, so we had the common room pretty much to ourselves.

We wacked on some music and sprawled ourselves out across the sofas and floor, getting ready for the first of many nights like these. I sat in the middle of a sofa with my feet on the table, and Pansy came and plonked herself down by me, lay her head in my lap and hung her heads over the arm. I noticed Moose squander in and park himself on Pansy's abdomen, so I had to keep my eye on Chickpea who was across the table from us, resting on Draco's arm.

"So," Amelia began, "What's everybody looking forward to most about this year?"

"Well, I for one, am looking forward to all the parties we can hold now that we the oldest in the house!" Pike announced.

"Yeah, especially with stuff like this!" added Blaise as he entered the room, pulling out a bottle of fire whiskey as he went. The group erupted with noise.

"No way!" Pansy yelled, "How the fuck did you get that?"

"I know a guy." Blaise admitted proudly, handing it to her.

The bottle was passed around the circle throughout the evening, and the conversations got madder and madder as it did. I'm not really much of a drinker myself, but I have a bit to be sociable, not enough to get completely hammered and have a hangover the next morning; especially not for the first morning of the year. Some of my friends, however, don't have this attitude, so I'll have to try to make some sense of what they said so it can actually be understood.

"Well _I_," Crabbe slurred, after a considerable detour to bitching about various teachers, "Am looking forward to being top of the school."

"Yeah, me too." I added, hopefully more comprehensibly.

"I mean, think about it! More freedom, more independence, more free time, more parties, like Pike said, more freedom, just like, more everything!"

"Did he mention more freedom?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was in there somewhere." Draco joked with me.

Everyone else was a bit confused by this, but I gave him a smirk to confirm that I understood. We were probably the least drunk people in the room at the point, and I'd made sure that Pansy missed the round a few times because I have Transfiguration first lesson with her tomorrow and will not be nursing a hangover during it.

"Well, I'm going up to bed now and I'm dragging the girls with me." Millicent had gone a while ago, but I got groans from the three who were left as I assumed the mother bear act.

"Yeah, lads, come on it's bedtime for you guys, too." Draco mimicked, taking up his papa bear act, like me.

Everybody said their goodnights, which involved a lot of 'I love you!' 'No, _I _love you!' all the way until we reached the dorms. I avoided Crabbe and Goyle so I didn't get another rib-cracking hug like I did a Pansy's in the summer, but hugged pretty much everyone else, even the girls I was dragging up to bed. Blaise lingered a little longer than everyone else, kissing me on the cheek after whispering to me "I'll see you later".

"Okay, Blaise, I'm gonna hand you back to Malfoy now. That alright love?"

"Yep, come on, Blaise, up to bed for you now." Draco added.

"Okay, night Florence!"

"Yes, goodnight, Zabini." I bid him with a mock sweetness, nodding to Draco to say thanks.

"Alright, come on girlies! This way to the land of dreams!"

I led them up the stairs, Hazel literally by the hand so she didn't fall down the stairs. Once in the dorm, we all bundled on Millicent who was reading some book or other, it didn't matter at the time. The four of us got into our pyjamas and positioned ourselves at the end of our beds so that we were in our special DMC circle.

"Okay, ladies, come on lets spill the goss!" Pansy started, still intoxicated to an extent.

"I'm not gonna lie, ladettes," Amelia started, "I have done fuck all since your bash, Pansy. It has been _so _dull since then! Apart from a couple of sleepovers with the lovely Amelia and… No wait, I'm Amelia! I meant Hazel! Oh Merlin's beard that's awful!" you could tell she was pissed, "Anyway, I had a couple of sleepovers with Hazel and Pansy but that was it."

We always moved round anti-clockwise from she who started, so Hazel went next. "Okay, me, so yeah I slept over at Amelia's a few times and then went on holiday to Cornwall for a bit with the parents and sister. Met up with Pike a couple of time, I won't lie." She was a wearing a cheeky grin at this point.

"And?" we all chorused.

"There's a little something something going on there!" she squealed. We all squealed in return, whacking our feet against our mattresses or something to that extent to show our approval. I wouldn't go for Pike in a millions years, but he's a funny guy and he'll make Hazel happy so I'm fine with it as long as he doesn't hurt her. As she set off again on a story of their first date, you could tell she was smitten by the way she sighed as she spoke, "We went out for an afternoon- 'cause I liked to sleep in- to this little town in Wales he'd been to as a kid- cute! - And walked along the coast for a while where he _held my hand!_ And then he took me out for tea to this nice little restaurant on the harbour and…" She paused which made us all tense, "We kissed!"

There was a collective "EEEKK!" from the five of us. It didn't sound like the Pike I knew, but then again people act differently when they're under the intoxication known as love.

"Anyway, enough about me, Millicent?"

"I went to visit my grandparents in Ireland for, like, the whole summer, but it felt like a few years." Millicent said in her usual enthusiastic and charismatic manner (I'm being sarcastic). We all waited to hear more, "That's it."

"Righty ho." Pansy said to continue the circle on, "Well, of course I had my 17th, but you were all there so we don't need to dwell on that! Ermm, well I went to Amelia's a couple of times, good times there, went over to Draco's quite a few times, did some… Stuff there!" she giggled.

"Like what?!" Hazel interjected.

"Well… I don't like to blow and tell!" she giggled again; this implied that she'd had sexy time with Draco over the holidays, which, from our chat on the platform, I knew to be lies. This is where my respect for Pansy diminishes slightly. She feels the need to appear superior to everyone, which means she often lies. It's usually quite easy to know when she's lying, especially when you know the truth of the matter in hand.

"Oh gosh! So things are getting serious with you guys then?" Hazel asked.

"I'd like to think so, yeah!" Pansy beamed, "Anyway, enough of my love life. Flo! You've been keeping quiet, what's been going on with you?"

"Well I wasn't invited to any sleepovers at Amelia's, thank you very much, so there's no stories there to tell!"

"It's because I knew you were in California with your folks at the time!"

"Yeah I know, I'm just messing, mate." I replied cheekily.

"Wow, America? No wonder your hair's like auburn beyond any extent I've seen it before!" Hazel expressed. My hair traditionally went auburn in the sun, so taking it to somewhere with more sun than it's ever been exposed to before meant that I was verging on full on ginger.

"Yeah, it was brilliant! Lots of sun so I got the lovely auburn back and then a tan and we basically spent a lot of time at the beach and that was all we did really." I smiled at them all, "Apart from that, read quite a bit, went swimming a couple of times, saw Blaise, that was it."

"Oh yeah, Blaise." Hazel teased, wiggling her head around in a taunting fashion.

"Yeah, Blaise. We had some flying practice, tried to meet up with Malfoy but he didn't reply so just ended up going back to more flying practice. What about it?"

"Oh come on, Flo! You're meant to be smart, aren't you?" Pansy asked.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It's obvious that Blaise likes you!"

"Huh?" Confusion intensifies within me.

"Oh, come on, can't you see it?" Amelia started, "He kissed you to say goodnight!"

"Yeah, on the cheek!"

"Even so, did he kiss anybody else?"

"Well, no but that's because-"

"And I saw him on the train!" Pansy retorted, "He had his arm around you and everything! You looked like such a couple."

"I was asleep! He was probably just making sure that if the train stopped I didn't crash into the table or something?" I replied certainly.

"Okay, okay, so tell us about flying practice then." Hazel demanded.

"He taught me how to fly because I was so out of practice. We flew around for a while. That was it. Nothing flirtatious or anything; all very kosher."

"Babes, you wouldn't know flirtatious if it hit you like a freight train."

"Fuck off, Pansy."

"And anyway, I'm pretty sure it was his broomstick he wanted you riding. ZING!" Amelia joked.

"What difference would that make?" Millicent enquired, as the three of them laughed, "I don't get it."

"I know you don't." Pansy commented under her breath.

"I was implying that he wanted to bone her instead of teach her how to fly, you thick bastard." Amelia explain politely.

"_Anyway_," I interrupted, "Blaise is not interested in me in that way, we're just friends, nothing sexual, nothing- Oh Pansy can you get your fucking cat off my bed! He's licking his balls again and I really don't want that mess he left last time again if I can avoid it!"

The room erupted into laughter as Pansy made her way over to my bed to collect her sexually frustrated cat.

"Okay, well then let's treat the situation hypothetically," Hazel began, "Blaise is a good looking guy, real or not real?"

"Well, real, I guess." I answered.

"He's on the Quidditch team, real or not real?" Millicent asked.

"Real."

"He's got some brains, real or not real?" Hazel asked.

"Real."

"You'd go out with him if he asked you, real or not real?" Pansy asked.

"Err, I don't know, probably not real?"

"Once you go black, you never go back, real or not real?" Amelia asked.

"What?! I'm in no position to answer-"

"You find him hawt, real or not real?" Pansy asked.

"I don't know!"

"_Real or not real, Carrow?!" _Pansy insisted.

"Real?"

"You like him!" the four idiots chorused.

I paused, "Fuck you all, I think it's time for sleep now."

Amelia, Hazel and Pansy sprang into action, jumping on my bed, chanted, "You like him! You like him!"

"Get off!" I roared; they obeyed, retreating to their beds.

"Just because you want the D doesn't mean you have to get catty with us, Flo." Amelia retorted.

"Again, it's time for sleep. Goodnight, lovelies."

They replied all together something along the lines of, "Fine then, night everyone!"

I got up to turn the lights off, and we were plunged into darkness for the first night of the year.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

When I woke up, the situation was as bad as I thought it would be as I fell asleep. I felt slightly lightheaded but nothing breakfast couldn't cure. Pansy looked as though she had a bit of a headache from the way she was holding her pillow tightly around her head. Millicent wasn't drinking last night, so she was fine. Amelia and Hazel were a completely different story; I hadn't thought to keep a check on how much they were drinking as I thought they be doing that for each other; this was obviously not the case. I'd slept like a log, so I didn't realise they'd got up in the night to go and be sick numerous times. They looked absolutely awful in their state of intense hangover.

"What have you two got first?" I asked.

"Divination," Hazel answered, "I'll be fine; you know Trelawney, it's always pretty chilled."

"Ancient Runes," Amelia realised, pausing for a short while after, "That means I have to concentrate… I'm screwed aren't I?"

"Karma's a bitch, don't you think?" Pansy ridiculed.

"What does karma have to do with anything, Parkinson?" Amelia queried, confused.

"Well," I started, knowing I was thinking along the same wavelength as Pansy, "This is what you get for drinking copious amounts of fire whisky and making up shit about Blaise wanting to get with me."

"Okay, yeah I was definitely meaning the drinking part, but not the Blaise part."

"Yeah," Hazel interject, "That's something we're all thinking, Flo, and it's true!"

"Alright, fuck off, ladies. It's not true. Just get dressed."

And so we did. Yes, there was teasing as we went, but I just had to get back at them by making loud noises very close to them and they'd shut it for a while. After getting my satchel together and getting both myself and Ansel ready for the day ahead, mentally and physically, I headed down to the heart of the common room with the other girls to meet the guys to depart for breakfast.

"Morning, boys," Pansy called out, "How are we all this morning?"

"Fuck off, Parkinson." Pike ordered, with his eyes half closed and a hunched back.

"Ooh, we're a bit feisty this morning aren't Pike? For someone suffering from hangover, anyway" Pansy taunted, "Do you have Transfiguration first period?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Ooh, gurl, we are gonna have some fun!" I added, beaming slightly evilly as I finished walking down the stairs and started towards Draco, "Morning, Malfoy; how were they for you last night?"

"Dreadful," he moaned, "Goodness knows what time I got them to settle down in the end. These guys are even bigger bastards when they're drunk, you have no idea. How was the rest of your evening?"

"The same really. Those girls have some gobs on them, I'm telling you. I'll share the deets some other time."

"And what deets would those be?" Blaise asked, winding his way out of his dead conversation with Millicent and joining Draco and I, "Morning, Pansy."

"Morning, Blaise. Nothing important, nothing for you to worry about." I rushed.

"Nice. Well, we're all here; shall we head off?" Draco interrupted.

"Yes!" Pansy let out, throwing her head back, "I am _so _hungry!"

We set off to the Great Hall at quite a pace, dictated to by Pansy who was leading the way. Once we'd settle down with our food, or feast if you're Pansy, we began discussing what our day was going to be like. I'd only taken a quick look at my timetable to know what I'd need for first period, so this was the first time I was seeing what shape my weeks would take.

"That's odd." I mumbled.

"What is?" Blaise enquired.

"I'm put down for Muggle Studies for one period a week… I'm not taking Muggle Studies anymore, though, I didn't even take it as an OWL."

"That's weird… So am I." Everybody was slowly seeing they had Muggle Studies classes this year.

I spied our Head of House sitting in his usually seat at the teachers' table and decided to seek some answers, "I'll go speak to Slughorn. Maybe he'll know something."

I grabbed the rest of my toast and strode towards the teachers' table. Slughorn spotted me going his way, "Good morning, Miss Carrow! How are you this fine day?"

"I'm okay ta, Professor, and yourself?"

"Oh just fine, thank you. Although I am a bit puzzled as to why I find you coming my way."

"Well, Professor, it says on my timetable," I started, showing him my parchment, "That I'm put down for Muggle Studies this year; but, sir, I haven't taken this subject since second year, and the same goes for the rest of my friends! There must be some mistake!"

"Nope, no mistake there, my dear. All students are to take at least one period of Muggle Studies per week this year, part of the new rules; supposedly Ministry insisted. I have to admit, I was surprised that Professor Snape didn't mention it in his speech last night, but then again, I guess he assumed you'd all find out soon enough once you got your new timetables! I hope this helps?"

"Yes, enormously. Thanks, sir." I expressed as I departed back to our table.

"Well?" Blaise asked expectantly.

"Everyone has to take at least one period of Muggle Studies a week as of this year," I groaned, "One of Snape's new rules."

"That's bullshit!" Pansy yelled, angrily, "I don't care about Muggles! Why should I have to learn about them?!"

We all complained about our new findings for the rest of breakfast, ruining the morning somewhat. Don't get me wrong, as you probably know by now, I have no problems with Muggles; as far as I'm concerned, they're the same as us, just without the magic. It's just, I can tell that this won't be Muggle Studies as I knew it when I was twelve now that Alecto's teaching it.

Professor Burbage made the subject kind of special. She seemed in love with the idea of Muggles; she found them special and entrancing, really interesting. She had such a passion for the subject and it really came through in the lessons. It wasn't so much like she was teaching but storytelling, narrating the tales of the everyday Muggle family and how their world was different from ours. It's something I've never been able to tell anyone, but I really did love Muggle Studies. I could never have taken it for OWLs or anything though, fuck knows what'd happen.

So after we'd all finished eating, or gorging if you're Pansy, we left to go our separate ways. Pansy, Pike, Ansel, Moose, Pike's toad, Hoodling, and I set off for the first floor to get Transfiguration in decent time, and Pansy and I took the chance to have a little gossip with Pike on our way. I think he puts on the dickhead act while he's around the guys, because when he's on his own, Pike's a decent lad. He's even a bit of a girl by the way he gossips so much.

"So, dish the goss about you and Hazel! We couldn't get too much out of her last night because she was too drunk, so dish!" Pansy began, smiling the most she'd done since last night.

"Well, we were sending owls back and forth for quite a while at the beginning of the summer," Pike explained, a smile immediately forming across his face, "And, well, I've liked her for quite a while-"

"Knew it!" I interjected.

"What?!" he asked, wide eyed and startled.

"We've suspected it for a while now." Pansy added.

"Really? Was it that obvious?!"

"Well, not usually, but to the well trained eye it was blatant, but then again Flo noticed so maybe it _was _obvious."

"What's that meant to mean?" I asked.

"You know," she teased, "Anyway, so yeah, it was obvious."

"Fuck's sake," he huffed, "Oh well, it's official now and I want people to know!" he brought his voice back down, "So anyway, I thought to myself, 'it's early summer, if I have a little flirt, maybe make a move, she won't remember come September so what the heck'. So I get my flirt on, and she starts flirting back! And I'm like 'oh man, she's actually up for this', so I ask her out, and she says yes!"

"Well I'm happy for you guys," I smiled, "She's been complaining about being without boyfriend for a while now so it's nice she's found someone… Even if it is you." I joked, "But seriously, mate, you break her heart and we break your face; I hope you understand that."

Transfiguration lived up to my expectations; McGonagall spent about twenty minutes explaining what we'd be doing this year, which was basically further human transfiguration, and ten minutes explaining and demonstrating the nature of what we'd be doing during the lesson. She thought of something relatively fun for the first lesson, surprisingly; we were to get into pairs and take it in turns to turn each other into various animals. Nothing too extreme like jungle animals or anything, just simple stuff like cats and dogs and other domestic animals.

Apparently we weren't really going to need our animals much this year, if we were we'd be told in advance, but it's helpful to be able to imagine the animals when you're starting out so that we didn't make any stupid mistakes. Pansy told me that this made sense, because Marcus Flint got turned into a cat-spider-thing a few years ago when his arachnophobic partner got distracted.

We had a good hour's go at this before the bell rang. It's actually good fun being a cat, I found; no wonder Moose is always so happy with himself.

"What's next for you, then?" I asked Pansy as we left the classroom.

"Errmm…" she started, checking her timetable, "Oh for fuck's sake!"

"Muggle studies?"

"Yup," she sighed.

"Me too."

"Good morning, class," my Aunt began sternly and just about as slowly as Snape would've, "My name is Professor Carrow, and I am your new Muggle Studies teacher.

"You might be wondering why, in your last year of Hogwarts, you are required to learn about Muggle Studies, especially if you haven't taken the subject in a while. Well, these aren't lessons to equip you for exams or anything like that, their purpose is solely to inform. Our new Minister for Magic, Pius Thicknesse, has decided that all students at magical schools are to be educated in proper Muggle understanding, so that they are aware of the dangers posed by them that have been sugar-coated, negated or ignored in prior teaching syllabuses."

"But Professor, I've lived next to Muggles all my life, a part from when I've been here, of course, and they've never posed any threat to me or anyone at all, for that matter-" Justin piped up.

"Finch-Fletchly, is it?" Alecto cut across.

"Yes, Professor."

"I will not tolerate interruptions or insolence in my classroom! Especially not from a Hufflepuff Mudblood!" she yelled, pausing to let her words echo, "Now, luckily for you, I'm willing to overlook your stupidity as we're not even five minutes into our first lesson, yet. But, a warning to everyone, I will _not _stand for behaviour like this in my lessons. You will speak when spoken to, or when permitted to, all other times you will remain silent and listen to every word I say, making notes as I go. Any bad behaviour from this point on will be punished severely. Is that understood?"

Silence filled the room.

"IS THAT UNDERSTOOD?!"

"Yes, Professor," we all answered in a mumbled unison.

"That's alright then. So let's begin. One of the first things you need to know is that Muggles are like animals; they are primitive beings who follow very basic instincts. They do all they can to survive and have evolved through the ages to do so, but very much slower and simpler than us wizards have. They really only care about themselves, but some will care for those close to them, also, though mostly superficially.

"Violence is one of the key ways in which they look after themselves. If fighting with their bare hands isn't enough, they can use any number of weapons that have been developed over the years. These include, but are certainly not limited to:" a slideshow started playing from a projector at the back of the now darkened classroom, the slide changing with each new object shown, "Spears, dating back to early primeval eras; tools, such as spades, swords, pickaxes, hoes, etc.; and perhaps more 'advanced', slightly more dangerous weapons, such as guns, canons and other electrical or motorised objects.

"They feel the need to use such objects as they're not smart enough to seek other alternatives like our kind is."

My Aunt carried on insulting Muggles in this 'educatory' way for an hour and a half. I became so infuriated with it all that I decided to zone out and pretend to make notes, knowing that I could copy up some from Pansy later that evening. I found myself concentrating more on just keeping my eyes open than anything during the start of these ninety minutes, but after the first ten or so, it became habit.

I caught Draco's eye after these ten minutes, despite not even realising that he, Crabbe and Goyle were in this class up until now. He rolled his eyes and went back to drawing whatever on his parchment. He was a good drawer, our Draco, would probably take art as a subject if he were in a Muggle school. He's good at most things, come to think of it; good academically, good at drawing, good at sports, I mean he's an excellent flyer, good at all this despite having the pressure of being a Malfoy bearing down on him.

He looked over at me at me again. Shit, I'm still looking at him! What do I do? It's too late to turn away, do I roll my eyes back? Do I mouth something to him about how terrible this class is? What do I do?! There's no social manual to guide me through something like this!

He winked at me… He winked at me… Draco Malfoy… Just winked at me… What the fuck does this mean?! I'm still looking at him, I think my lips are slightly parted at this point, my eyebrows at inquisitorial angles. Once again, what the fuck do I do?! I felt butterflies swarming my stomach as our eyes maintained contact. He wore a cheeky grin on his face, something I'd seen before many times but that now had a very flirtatious meaning behind it.

I'm not entirely sure whether this started in fantasy and continued in the same fashion, or whether it started in reality and slowly descended into fantasy; either way, it was definitely in the realm of illusion by this point. Draco Malfoy, a good friend of mine for around six or seven years now, got up from his desk, without a single soul batting an eyelid, took my hand and led me out of the classroom. He pulled me into an empty classroom at the end of the corridor and slammed the door behind us.

Without speaking or any prior warning, I was lifted onto a desk and pulled into a kiss. After a few of seconds, he pulled away. I know I'm not very experienced, but am I that bad that I could repel a guy after next to no time at all? Draco murmured, "This isn't weird, is it?"

I remained speechless and shook my head.

"Good," he breathed, leaning back in, this time more passionately. I began to kiss back stronger this time, with all previous inhibitions put to rest as I felt his hand feel it way onto my thigh. His other hand cupped the side of my neck, pulling our bodies closer so that they were pressed together. I felt my legs tighten around his hips as his hand wound its way into my hair; his other hand snaked up my shirt to begin fondling me. I edged onto the very end of the desk at this point, wrapping my legs tighter round his waist and pulling him in even closer if that was actually possible. I knew I was doing something right, as I felt his hard-on plush against my inner thigh. A wave of sensation swept through my body as Draco began kissing down my neck, then back up before finally reaching my ear.

Reality crashed down around me, as my expectation of hearing him whisper something dirty to me was violated by Alecto's booming voice, shouting, "Florence Carrow! Are you actually listening to me?!" I found myself back at my desk in the darkened classroom with the eyes of the entire class upon me.

"Of course, Professor."

"What did I just say then?"

Hoping the classroom was so dark that she couldn't properly see my eyes, I glanced down to Pansy's parchment to see the words 'nuclear bomb' written in jet black ink, "Nuclear weaponry, if I'm not mistaken."

"Correct," my Aunt replied, sounding, if anything, annoyed, "As I was saying..."

"Nice save," Pansy complemented.

"Cheers," I replied, glancing over at Draco to see him back drawing on his parchment once more. What the bloody hell just happened?


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

My daily life continued in a monotonous and mundane fashion for three long and arduous months. Seeing as it was our final NEWT year, the teachers found extra excuse to pile the homework high each lesson, leaving very little time for anything else. Despite this, we allowed ourselves Friday evenings and most of Saturday to escape from our daily grind and have some fun, even if it was confined to within the castle perimeter or even just the common room. Blaise always found a way of smuggling in some fire whisky or some sort of alcohol most weekends, so even if the weeks were getting tougher, we more often than not had some refuge to seek.

Winter arrived unannounced, with snow suddenly falling thick and fast one Sunday morning. Most days it was limited to a light dusting upon the castle grounds, but as we found ourselves further and further into December, snowfall grew denser day by day. For those who love this kind of weather, like myself, any chance you could get outside to build snowmen, have snowball fights and make snow angels, was taken. It often ended abruptly, though, either by the bell ringing or a teacher coming to shoo us inside so we didn't catch a cold or anything. Kill joys.

The times we couldn't spend outside, which were mainly just the evenings where we were deemed by scholastic decree to stay in our common rooms anyway, my friends and I either claimed our normal set of sofas by the raging fire, or sort out for a window on what was probably the top floor of the common room and just watched the outside world. We took our blankets and pillows with us so that we could curl up on the floor and watch the lake slowly freeze over. Sometimes we were all there, sometimes it was just a few of us; either way, it became our secret sanctuary that nobody ever found.

What would've been much to the delight of the girlies, I ended up going up there a lot with Blaise. I often found myself getting over stressed with the amount of work that I was having to complete on time and to near perfect standards, and to give me a break for twenty minutes or so it became a habit to go up there with Blaise. He'd grab his duvet when he saw me close to meltdown and lead me to our window and we'd just chat. It started off as just sitting, leaning against the wall, but one day it turned into slightly more. Only _slightly _more, don't get carried away. It happened after one certain Thursday evening that went like this:

It was one of the coldest nights I'd known, and I was sitting by the fire on my own, doing my Potions homework. This involved going over some stuff on the Elixir to Induce Euphoria, something I was desperately needing. I was two hours in when I reached a question that was so complex I barely knew how to start it, let alone where I was going to go once I had. I grabbed the nearest cushion and shoved my head in it and started screaming. It wasn't really audible, but it was enough of a signal for Blaise to approach me with his bedding in hand.

He knew he didn't have to say anything, just put his hand on my shoulder. I looked up at him with my red face and weary eyes, and agreed to go. We walked up in silence to the window overlooking the lake and got ourselves comfortable.

"Fuck, Zabini, I mean Potions, I just can't deal any-"

"Florence, shut it," he smiled at me calmly, "We're not here for either of us to moan about work; we're here to take our minds off it all."

"Okay," I conformed, "Shit! I forgot my hoodie!" I searched myself, "And my wand! Merlin's pants, I am _so_ cold right now," I complained.

"Come over here, then," Blaise offered kindly. I raised my eyebrows questioningly, "What's the matter? We're friends, aren't we?"

"Well, yeah, but-"

"You've hugged me for haven't you?"

"Yes, but-"

"So get over here then! You're cold and I'm warm! I- it- it makes sense," he stuttered bashfully.

"Okay then," I shuffled across the cold stone floor across to Blaise, who had his left arm outstretched and welcoming. I snuggled into his embrace as he stretched his right hand round to rest on my knee. My head lay softly on his shoulder and I instantly started to feel warmer, "Thanks."

"See! It's not so bad!"

I paused for a moment to appreciate the situation. Maybe the girls were right; he was the one who offered up the snuggle, wasn't he? He must like me at least a little bit to do so, I mean, Pike's never done anything like that… Ever… To anyone. And if he does like me, why is that such a bad thing? Why was I acting like it was Goyle falling for me or something? Blaise is sweet, really kind and considerate; he's funny and smart, too. And, taking a girly moment, he is hot. I feel his muscles in his embrace and, oh man it is _good_! Yeah, I could get used to this.

And I did. Times like these became more and more common, happening at least once a night, except the offer to cuddle didn't need mentioning anymore, it just became automatic. A couple of times, when I was really, _really_ stressing out and once we were out of the peripherals of prying eyes, he held my hand as we walked there and back. Were we a couple at this point? I don't really know; I think we both knew that we liked each other, because our get-aways were slowly getting longer and longer. We didn't do anything about it, though, nothing physical happened and we weren't recognised as a couple or anything.

But I was happy enough. The times I spent with him made me forget about everything; school, teachers, friends, evil forces out to ruin the world, everything melted away as he held me in his hot embrace (double meaning going on there!). I'm surprise that nobody noticed, to tell the truth! I assumed that the girls would be on my back like limpets on a ship after that first night we started escaping, but they were oblivious! Blissfully ignorant to whatever was happening between Blaise and me!

The autumn term was coming to a close, only a week to go. This meant a few things, but there was one thing that most prominent in the majority of our minds. Each year, the most senior members of the house put on a party for the students in their fifth and sixth years. This basically meant that the ten of us had claimed the planning for ourselves, because, as Pansy put it the other night, "if anyone's gonna be putting on the best fucking party of the year, it's gonna be us".

And so, the night was upon us. The last Saturday before the end of term, everybody was getting excited for the evening we'd planned ahead. The evening was themed silver; silver decorations, silver tinted drinks, silver tinted food, at least one item of clothing silver, silver, silver, and yet more silver. I have been known to look terrible in silver, it's a colour that just doesn't suit me. So the girls and I spent longer than usual looking for dresses on account of the factor that nothing looked good on me because IT WAS ALL FUCKING SILVER! In the end, we found something that was mostly silver but actually looked half decent on me; a dress with a silver lace, V-neck top and black ballroom-ish skirt that was a little shorter than knee-length on me.

"Finally!" celebrated Hazel, who was wearing a tight, elasticated silver skirt and really dark grey jumper, "Something that makes you look hot _and _that's silver!"

"I have to say, I am loving this one," I grinned.

"It's because you've got a decent pair to show off with a V-neck, you lucky bitch," Pansy half complained, half complemented; she was wearing shiny light grey leggings with a floaty see-through shirt that revealed a dark silver vest underneath.

Amelia was in a long silver skirt that fell perfectly to the floor and a sequined top. Millicent wore dark grey trousers and a long sleeved, even darker silver top. After I'd sort out my hair and makeup, I was ready to get going at six o'clock. The others, however, had barely begun. While I waited, I made my way down to the silver heart of common room to find something to fill the time.

"Looking good, Carrow!" Draco yelled as I flew down the stairs.

"Fuck off, Malfoy, you know how I feel about all this silver!"

"Yeah, but you're looking good in it! Very surprising indeed."

"Once again, fuck you," I joked.

"Anyone else ready?"

"No they're still pampering. What about the lads?"

"No, surprisingly enough they're the same! Window?"

"Window."

We trotted up the stairs to the upmost floor and perched on a couple of stolen cushion from the Gryffindor common room.

"So, how are you finding Potions this year?" I started, "Because I'm not-"

"What's going on between you and Blaise?" Draco interrupted.

"Beg pardon?"

"I've noticed that you two have been sneaking off quite a bit recently, and I didn't want to bring it up in front of everyone… So what's going on?"

I paused, "If I'm entirely honest with you, mate, I'm not actually sure myself. I mean, when we sneak off up here and cuddle and chat for a bit, but nothing more happens. Nothing's been said about anything more happening. So, really, you know about as much as I do on the matter."

"Right," Draco muttered.

"Anyways! What's happening with lover boy and Miss Parkinson?" I taunted.

"Oh, fuck you, Flo! Nothing is going on and nothing will!"

"What do you have against having a relationship with my best friend?!"

"Okay, well when you put it like that it sounds offensive towards the both of you but it's not meant to be! I just don't like Pansy in that way! And why should I have to just because she likes me?! There are plenty of other girls that I could and do like!"

"Who's that then?"

"Like I'm going to tell you!"

"Well I told you about the Blaise situation, didn't I? Come on, Draco, we're like best mates, you've got to dish!"

"Well I can't!" Draco shouted. He paused for a while, then spoke in a soft, albeit reluctant, tone, "You and Blaise make a cute couple."

I stared into his eyes for a while, feeling myself getting lost in them. Once I found myself again, I saw him leaning in towards me and felt myself instinctively doing the same. Oh gosh, he meant me, didn't he? Draco Malfoy likes me! Shit! Draco Malfoy, son of a major Death Eater, alleged 'boyfriend' of my best friend likes me and is leaning in to kiss me. And I'm leaning back! What's happening! I can't stop! Fuck, this won't end well! We're centimetres from each other! What do I do?!

"What's going on, Draco?" I heard Pansy ask from a few metres behind us.

What he did in the subsequent moments was stupidly brilliant. I felt him grab hold of my head and tilt it to face the ceiling.

"That's weird!" He began in a rush, "You eye's not bloodshot anymore… I guess you're right, it must've just been some stray mascara!" He released his tight grip on my face, "You alright, Pansy?"

"Yeah…" Pansy began slowly, "Ermm, oh yeah, Florence we're all ready now, you coming?"

"Yep, on my way, honey!" I leapt up and followed Pansy back to the dorm without looking back until the door was firmly shut behind me, still breathing heavily but hopefully discretely.

"Are we ready then, girlies?" an excited Hazel squealed.

"Yeah, gurl!" We chorused in return, equally as excited.

"Okay, ladies," Pansy began, "This is _our_ night. I don't care what the guys say, all they've organised is the music and alcohol, which, fair enough, is bitchin, but still, _we_ organised most of this, so we get to enjoy it the most! I want every one of you on your worst behaviour, acting absolutely shockingly all evening, getting with as many people as you can and getting as hammered as you can without needing to go to the hospital wing of course, do I make myself clear, soldiers?!"

"Yes sir!"

Despite my worries that all our work would be for nothing, the party was actually going really well! The common room was shimmering and sparkling in the abundance of silver, and despite my previous anticipations with the colour, I was rather liking the ice palace effect that it gave the place. For once, everybody was mingling with each other over the drinks provided by Blaise and the music that Pike had compiled together. When the girls and I weren't dancing and drinking and having the time of our lives, we were accepting complements from all the party-goers on how good a job we'd done with the place.

I allowed myself more lenience than I usually did with regards to drinking, so by the time it was around half past nine, I was past the point of being tipsy. It's quite usual to not be able to remember stuff from while you're under the influence, but unfortunately there are some images that I still can't wipe from my memory. One of them is that of Goyle snogging Millicent… Just thinking about it makes me feel physically and terribly sick so I would appreciate not dwelling on it any longer, thank you very much!

The other was a real game changer. In a very dark corner of the common room, I saw Pike getting off with someone. I assumed it was just Hazel and so didn't think anything of it; that was until I noticed that it wasn't Hazel, but Crabbe. I am quite sure that your thoughts at the moment echo mine from that night: what the actual fuck is going on right now?! Is this for real?! Again, I won't dwell on it, but this time because it will be explained in due course.

But still, what the actual fuck?!

Anyway, let's shunt these two occurrences from the foreground. To do so at the time, I poured myself a stiff one and sat down in the usual area, watching the world go by for a bit to appreciate the work we'd done.

"Carrow!" Blaise came and plonked himself down beside me, stretching an arm around my shoulders, "What're you doing all on your lonesome? This is _our_ party, isn't it? Why aren't you enjoying it?"

"I am, Blaise! I've been on my feet since we began, chatting and dancing, and my feet kill in these heels! I'm just taking a breather for a moment, okay? Is that okay with you, Zabini?!"

"Fine then!" he smirked, shuffling closer to me, his hand sliding further down my arm as he went, "So, what've you done this evening?"

"A lot of dancing with the girls, celebrating our good work; chatting with everyone, accepting praise for our good work; and drinking… To celebrate our good work even more!"

"Well it's a fucking good party, so I'm guessing you've had quite a lot!"

"More than usual anyway," I replied, "So, what about you?"

"The same, really, but with less dancing with the girlies!"

"Aha that's fair-" I was interrupted at this point very, _very _unexpectedly. Amelia came and leant down in front of me and planted a big kiss right on my smackers. I won't lie, I did enjoy our brief close encounter, but not as much as I enjoyed the enthralled look on Blaise's face when I turned back to face him, "You're just one big, throbbing pair of trousers, aren't you?"

"Fuck off! It's not every day you get two hot girls macking off in front of you!"

"Okay, first, fuck off; and second, fuck off."

"Come on, it's true! You're a bit of a lesbian for Amy, aren't you?"

"Whoa! No! How can I help it if she comes and kisses me when I'm not expecting it?"

"Oh please! I saw your reaction! You loved it!"

"I wasn't fussed, mate, it wasn't that great."

"Well either way, it was hot."

"Fuck you, Zabini."

"It was, I can tell you for sure!"

"Fuck off."

"Just because you'd make a hot lesbian."

"Fuck off."

"Make me!"

"FUCK OFF."

"MAKE ME."

So I did. Over a month's worth of suppressed feelings were all released within a couple of moments as I kissed Blaise. As I pulled away after a couple of seconds, the look on his face was even better than it was after my kiss with Amelia. It was a mixture of pure and extreme shock, but also pure and extreme happiness. These few seconds were beautiful, but not as good as the kiss that followed. He took my face in his hands and pulled me in for the most passionate kiss I've ever experienced.

If you'd asked me at the beginning of the year if I'd be kissing Blaise this year, I would've slapped you; if you'd asked me a few weeks ago, I would've said maybe, it's not entirely impossible. But if you'd asked me how good it'd be, I'd never have thought that what I experienced could've been an answer.

His lips were so tender as they played with mine, not holding back at all as we immersed ourselves in the heat of the moment. Blaise wrapped his hands around my waist as he lay down on the sofa, pulling me down onto with him so that I was plush against his body. We fooled around in a hot mess on the sofa for what seemed like ages while before I started noticing properly where his hands where going; I felt one stroking the inner thigh of my left leg and the other holding me just above my waist, feeling as if it wanted to slide round to my boob.

"You know," I breathed into his ear, "If you're holding back on… Certain advances because you're worried about how I might react, you don't have to, I don't mind."

He kissed up my neck and replied in the same whispered tone, "Well, as good as that is to know, it's not all because of that. Believe it or not, I just don't want to go too far with all these people around."

"Well, there's an easy solution to that."

"Huh?"

"We could go upstairs if you're wanting more privacy," I suggested, playing with his hair.

Blaise's eyes widened with realisation and a cheeky smile spread across his face, "I'll race you to my dorm!"

He took my hand and we ran to the staircase leading to the boys' dormitories, stopping once we were out of sight for a quick pit stop. He picked me up so my legs hugged his waist tightly and pushed me against the wall. After a few steamy moments, he continued the ascent, with my legs still wrapped around him like some horny tree monkey, until we reached Blaise's bed. He pushed me down onto it and seductively climbed on top of me, tentatively grabbing hold of one of my breasts.

I hadn't had much experience in this area of life, making out past just kissing, but Blaise made it so easy, even in his drunken state; he was quite happy on the whole to focus on me until I found my feet, although he had a bit of trouble after unzipping my dress.

"Having a bit of trouble, honey?" I joked.

"Nope! It's… Fine!" Blaise struggled.

"Do you want me to do it?"

"No… I can do it!"

"Really? I'm used to unhooking bras, it'll be quicker if I do it."

He looked me in the eye, "Told you you'd make a good lesbian. Just wait! I can… See! I did it!"

Once this was out of the way, he felt a lot more relaxed again, playing with my boobs and making use of the fact that I wasn't wearing tights. Once I, too, was relaxing into the pleasure, I let my hand travel further south, too, stroking down his firm and perfectly formed body until I reached the belt. After this, everything just felt natural, like all of this was normal, but still special. I'm not going into detail on what we did because, well, you have no right to know everything if I'm honest, but I will say that we both felt pretty satisfied once we were done.

"Wow," I exhaled, rolling over so I was lying beside Blaise, "Well, I guess I'd better be off to-"

"Why?" he asked, grabbing my wrist loosely as I made an effort to get up.

"Well, I've got to go back my dorm for-"

"Why? Couldn't you just stay here?"

I laughed nervously, "Ermm, well yes, but… I haven't got any pyjamas."

"I could lend you a top if you're that worried about sleeping in your underwear. Although you shouldn't be, you look great in it; dead sexy."

I started blushing, "Well, I guess you're right," I admitted, slowly getting back into bed, "And I'd probably fall down the stairs anyway so it's probably for the best."

"See! I was only thinking of your safety," he winked.

"Oh, you're just so considerate," I joked sarcastically, "So what do you wear in bed?"

He got up from the bed, displaying his beautiful body, and slowly took off his boxers and put on his loose-fitting pyjama bottoms, "This." They hung perfectly on his hips, displaying that gorgeous part of a guy's body where his muscles formed a kind V-shape; oh my gosh such a heavenly sight.

I let out a kind of squeaky sound just gawping at his body before resuming eye contact and speaking again, "That works for me, sounds good."

Blaise climbed back into bed and just lay there for a moment, cuddling me into his body, before breaking the silence, "I'm so happy."

I laughed, "You're so drunk."

"No, I mean it! I've really liked you for a good few years now! I think I realised it at the Yule Ball when I saw you across the dance floor during that first dance the champions did; you were wearing that strapless deep purple dress with the floaty skirt that had the slit up the side and the same boots you were wearing tonight; you looked so beautiful, well, I mean, even more so than usual. I've always regretted not asking you before that guy from Durmstrang did."

"He was my first kiss," I laughed softly to myself.

"Of course, taking you never even occurred to me until that night, you were just my friend, Flo. But after then I was awakened, I guess, to how I felt about you. I could never have done anything about it at the time, I never had any confidence, but then sometime last year I just changed somewhat and found my feet. These last couple of months I've been trying to find the courage and the right time to ask you out, but I always ended up chickening out."

I stayed silent, but was beaming to myself. After a moment or so, I said, "Don't tell any of the girls this."

"Why not?"

"They were ganging up on me at the beginning of term, telling me how oblivious I was to how much you wanted me. I just didn't think it was possible, to be honest. But then, these last few weeks I've been thinking 'you know what? Maybe this could happen, wouldn't be such a bad thing'."

"So, do you want to make this a permanent thing?" Blaise asked timidly.

"I'm sorry, make what permanent?" I started to taunt, knowing full well he didn't quite have the confidence at this moment to say what he really wanted to.

"You know, like take this seriously now."

"What? Going to sleep? I assure you I take sleep _very_ seriously."

"You know what I mean!"

"I'm afraid I don't, honey."

"Yes you do!"

"Can't say I do."

"Come on, Florence, you do!"

"But I don't, you have to make it clearer."

"But you know what I mean!"

"I don't!"

"Yes you do!"

"No I don't!"

"Fine then! Will you be my girlfriend?" he asked cutely, albeit rather aggressively.

I blushed and smiled wildly, answering him quickly, "Yes!"

He turned onto his side to face me, giving me a big kiss, "Already my best year ever and we're barely a term in."

"Same here," I confirmed, biting my lip, "Well, I'm going to sleep before anything can ruin the amazing night I'm having, that alright with you, honey?"

"Definitely," he smiled back.

"Night, then!" I said, settling down into Blaise's duvet and embrace in a way I'd never done before.

"Goodnight, Florence."


	6. Chapter 6

It won't be surprising to hear that I had my best night's sleep ever in Blaise's bed. I woke up a couple of times, but it was nice to do so. Blaise either looks really cute when he's sleeping, like a hot little angel, or really dumb, like a hot… Dumb person…I don't really know, he just had a goofy look on his face and little bit of dribble hanging out his mouth. It didn't matter though, I was well and truly smitten.

However, I did encounter a surprise on waking up. I was roused at around eleven o'clock by Blaise, who was kissing up and down my neck and occasionally whispering, "Come on, Flo."

It wasn't just drunk talk last night, he legitimately wanted this to happen!

"Morning," I groaned.

"Hey," Blaise answered in a deep and cute morning voice.

"So this is actually happening?"

"Yeah!" he exclaimed excitedly, then bringing his voice down to a calmer stutter, "I- I mean, a- as long as you want to, of course…"

I gave him a long and deep kiss, implying my answer. We stared into each other's eyes for what seemed like a little eternity, just smiling, before a noise broke the moment. We both turned to face the bed on the other side of the room, where we saw the very shaggy bed head of Draco slowly emerging from the mess that was his duvet.

"Rough night?" Blaise asked, pulling his attention to the fact that he wasn't alone.

"You have no idea," he answered, opening his eyes to the harsh, near midday, light of the dorm, then gesturing at us while asking, "Is this a thing now then?"

I'd forgot the near kiss by the window before the party, but was too happy to really care, "Yeah," I smiled, leaning my head on his shoulder. Then, out of nowhere, we heard another grunt coming from his direction, "Did you duvet just grunt?"

"Err… No, that was merely a fart…" he replied, shiftily.

"Mate, you got someone in bed with you?! Lad," Blaise added.

"Err… Yes-" he was interrupted by more groaning.

"What's all the racket about? I have such a fucking headache!" said a familiar voice from inside the duvet.

My mouth opened wide in a shock, but still smiling, "You didn't!"

"Malfoy, after all you've said, after all this talking from you… You haven't!"

"Haven't what?" Miss Pansy Parkinson said as she surfaced from the duvet.

Blaise and I remained silent, trying not to laugh as Pansy was figuring out what was going on. In the end, Blaise enquired, "So, what happened?!"

"Well," Pansy started with a smile on her face, "We bumped into each other at some point last night, don't know when, I was too out of it, and just kind of started making out! And before I knew it he was taking me upstairs to a broom cupboard where we… Well, let's just say we had to use that spell I was talking about, Flo."

"No!" I exclaimed with the same happily shocked face; Pansy had told me over the summer that her older sister had shared with her a contraceptive charm as a side present for her coming of age, so I guess she meant this. At this point I noticed Draco on he left, sitting bolt upright, wide eyed, staring at the corner of his bed and nodding.

"So I guess it's official!" she squealed, planting a big kiss on the lips of a very reluctant Draco Malfoy, "We're properly together!" it took her a while to realise that I was in Blaise's bed, but once he gave me a rather loud kiss on my head, she awoke to this realisation, "Oh. My. Fucking. Gosh. Are you two a… Is this a thing now?"

I smiled and nodded, although it was rather difficult with Blaise's head weighing down nicely on mine.

"EEEP!" Pansy squealed deafeningly, "Oh this is amazing! We'll be like the power couples of the group! No, the house! No, the year, or even the school! We can double date! Oh, this is gonna be so much fun!"

Draco was still focusing intently on the corner of his mattress, but managed to get out a few words, "Did you guys… You know…"

"Mate, what the fuck you on about? Nobody can decode what you're trying to say."

"Did you guys have sex?" he blurted out, stealing his attention away from his the bed and into my eyes.

"No," I replied, "I guess we prefer to take things a little slower and just fool around."

"Unlike some people we know," Blaise taunted. He cuddled me into his embrace as we both laughed at his joke

"Anyways, I guess we better get back to our dorm, Flo; tell everyone the exciting news!"

"Righto. See you later, honey," I gave Blaise a long lasting kiss to last through to whenever I saw him again. It sounds stupid, but I felt like I was actually gonna miss him, even though we wouldn't be too far apart for that long; it was a nice lacking feeling, though, representative of caring and stuff.

Pansy and I hopped out the door and began down the stairs. On our way, we passed Pike and Crabbe who were holding hands until they noticed us, when they split promptly and picked up the pace. I told Pansy about what I'd seen of them last night, agreeing that that also must be legit, even though it started in a drunken state. We thought of the many years we'd known the pair for and how, in all that time, we never could've guessed that either one of them would be gay. It makes sense now with regards to Pike, I mean he was always such a dick around the guys, so I guess he was making a real effort to through them off scent, and then around the girls he was more gossipy and, yeah, I guess more feminine.

We arrived in our dorm with a spring in our step, telling wonders of our new found love. Amelia, Hazel and Millicent had guessed that Pansy and Draco would get together at some point or another, as they pointed out, but after my persistence at the beginning of the year about how nothing would happen between Blaise and I, they were actually quite surprised and, of course, ecstatically happy that we were getting together.

"… And he was so sweet as we were drifting off to sleep, he was telling me about how he's liked me since the Yule Ball! I just, oh gosh, smitten, it's just too good to be true!"

"Well, I'm just so happy for the both of you," Hazel smiled, "At least two of us can have some love this year."

"Don't you mean three?" Millicent asked, confused.

"No," Hazel explained rather deflated; she had tears in her eyes, "Pike is… Gay. He came to find me this morning at breakfast to tell me that last night he'd had an… Epiphany, if you will, that it was time to come out of closet. And he'd realised this after kissing Crabbe last night."

You could tell that, as much as she was trying to keep a brave face, Hazel was holding back a tsunami of tears. She really had liked Pike, we all knew that, and all of a sudden she'd had the bombshell dropped on her that he'd been lying to all of us about reciprocating her feelings. I'd hate to think how terrible that feels. We all had the same thought at the same time, and realised this as we saw each other getting up and moving towards Hazel's bed to incarcerate her in one big, emotional cuddle. As we all broke away, Amelia remained, holding her best friend in a tight hug.

"Haze, there's no use in sitting around moping," she started, wiping the tears from Hazel's eyes, "I know it's a horrible thought, but you've got work to take you mind off it, we all do. So why don't we get washed and everything and go down to start?"

"Yeah," I agreed, "I'm sure Pike will be keeping to himself a lot until at least after the holidays, so it should be pretty safe. You game, girly?"

She sighed, "Might as well."

"And we can take breaks to make sure we don't get _too _suicidal from all the work; I've been hoarding some caldron cakes that we can dig into if you like?" Pansy offered.

Millicent unexpectedly piped up, "Oh, I am _so_ there!"

Hazel smiled, "Thanks, you guys."

We all smiled back and set off to prepare for the day. I had two potions essays still to write, a worksheet on Venomous Tentacula, some reading to do about the Unforgivable Curses which Amycus had written himself (surprise, surprise) and then there was Transfiguration. Pansy and I had to do a lot of practice of turning each other into a string of animals without any hindrances whatsoever. This took much longer than expected and ended up as one of us usually ended up with more limbed than expected or some other mutation. At this rate, I'll be more than happy just to get an A in the bloody subject.

There was only really one good thing that came out of the day, and it was absolutely hilarious. It was around six o'clock and Pansy and I had been at it for two hours. We were tired of getting at least one thing wrong in our string of transfigurations, and once I had been turned into a frog with ten slimy legs, Pansy had decided she'd had enough.

"Mate, at least make me human again," I croaked.

"Oh, I just can't take it anymore! Why the fuck did I take this fucking subject?! I am shit at it!"

I looked at my multitude of limbs, "I know."

"Why did I have to be so stupid as to take this subject?! I can't even turn you into a fucking toad without cocking up!"

I looked at my multitude of limbs again, "I know. Look just turn me back into human so I can at least have a go again or do some Herbology or something cos I can't do it as a fucking frog!"

"I CAN'T! You'll end up with your head on upside down or something! I just… AAHHH! I'm in a rage! This is the maddest I've ever been!"

"Pretty sure you've been madder, mate," I commented. I'm sorry but you've got to laugh in retrospect, I mean, you can't write this stuff! It felt like one of the best but also most bizarre sitcoms you could never dream of; a girl and her best friend who happens to be a deformed frog. But oh, it gets better!

"Well, I doesn't feel like it! I'm gonna get a Troll, I'll fail! AAHHH I just…!" and that's when it happened.

This is what I've guessed went on, anyway. In a moment of rage, Pansy whipped out her wand and cast a spell silently, keeping it concentrated in her mind. But, Pansy being the twat she is, she failed to, a) notice that Moose had come and plonked himself down beside me, and b) cast the right spell because she wasn't concentrating enough. So, as you've guessed, her spell didn't hit me and turn me back into a human, it hit Moose. But it didn't turn him into a human; in fact, we didn't know what it did for a few moments.

Silence filled the space as we waited to figure out what was going wrong. I looked up at Pansy, as if to say 'yes, you have indeed fucked up again'. Moose shared the same expression, and then broke the silence… By barking.

In all honesty, I don't think it's all that easy to tell when I frog is smiling, even if it's as wild as I was, but the insane laughter must've made up for it. It was a good minute or two before I could get out what I wanted to say, "Don't you come near me! If you think you're humanising me again, girl, you are fucking mistaken! I'll end up mooing or something!" I started laughing uncontrollably again, "Mil- Milli- Millicent! Go and get Pike! Tell him I need some help! Please!"

Moose was never the same again. Pansy never found a counter-charm in all the reading she did in the small amount of spare time she could muster up, and she felt too ashamed to go to McGonagall for help; I don't blame her if I'm honest.

The last week of term was no difference to the rest, except for the abnormally large mountain of homework that was piling up in preparation for the holidays ahead. Unlike the rest of my friends, I took to starting scaling this mountain before the holidays so that I had at least some respite before the spring term. Chickpea and I spent a good couple of hours each evenings on my bed tackling all the work in peace, before returning back downstairs to cherish the last few evenings we had together before Christmas.

The last night we had together, however, I left the homework alone to spend a proper evening with my friends. We didn't drink, we didn't go off to make out with people, we didn't dance, we just sat around on our sofas and chatted; best moments of the term, what we're looking forward to in the holidays and next term, anything. I sat with my legs draped over Blaise's right leg, him cuddling me into his side. Pansy and Draco looked like they were trying to do the same, except rather uncomfortably.

"I'm looking forward to Christmas day!" Pansy cheeped, "Presents and feasting and more presents-"

"That reminds me!" Blaise let out, taking off at pace up the stairs.

"Righty ho… Well as I was saying, presen-"

"Okay," Blaise interrupted again, we his hands behind his back, "Are we sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin my story. So, this story takes place in a not so distant land called Hogwarts. The great, strapping, young lad who will be our protagonist, that's me, had just gotten into a relationship with the girl of his dreams, that's you, Flo, whom he'd been pining over for the past three years. He was so happy in his new found love that it was all that had consumed his thoughts since that eventful Sunday night, so much so that he'd forgotten that Christmas was coming up, and that he wouldn't be seeing his love after the Friday before the 25th."

"Oh, no, Blaise, you haven't!" I exclaimed.

"Don't interrupt the story, Florence!" he mock yelled in return, "Back to the story. So, being the gentleman he was, he decided he had to think of something to get her fast, however small or insignificant it was, to let her know how much she meant to him. His first thought, remembering that she wanted to be a healer, was to get her a slutty doctor costume as he'd seen a lot of them when in the Muggle world. But where was he to get this in such short notice? The idea was scrapped.

"The second idea, he thought, was much simpler, but probably better, too. He had to do a bit of bartering with his sweetheart's aunt and uncle, but they weren't too reluctant to help our hero," Blaise removed his hands from behind his back and held in his hands a small, pastel orange box with an electric blue ribbon on top.

I undid the perfect bow that rested on the lid and opened up the box. Inside was a small, silver, clip-on hair bow, no bigger than my palm, "Oh, Blaise, it's beautiful."

"And that's not even the half of it! Put it in your hair," I did as he said, and it turned yellow, "It has some really intricate magic in it that makes it change colour to match the outfit worn by its owner."

"That's incredible!" I gawped up at him for a moment, wide eyed, "I love it. Thank you so much," I got up and threw my arms around him, kissing him long and hard despite the taunting oohs of our friends, "I just feel bad about not getting you anything, I mean I had no chance! You've got to understand-"

"I didn't expect you to, Flo, you're not as brilliantly minded as me, you had no chance," he winked.

"You may be a darling but I can still kick your ass; I'll have no reservations if you're gonna be cocky about it," I teased back.

It went silent for a moment, "So, Draco!" Pansy piped up excitedly, "Where's mine?"

"Err… Come up to my room and I'll tell you," he replied, hesitatively.

"Ooh, kinky!" Amelia added, while the rest of us oohed and whistle as they went.

We resumed talking in their absence, but this was soon interrupted when we had a shout. It came from the direction of the boy's dorm, and it wasn't clear whether it was a good or bad shout. Our queries were answered soon enough when we saw Pansy running down the boy's stairs and up the girl's with tears in her eyes.

"If you ask me," Goyle started awkwardly and slowly, "I reckon he tried anal, but she wasn't quite up to the task."

"Shut the fuck up, dickhead," I retorted sternly, "I'm gonna go and see what's up."

I took off up the stairs to find Pansy crying into her pillow, not noticing I'd come in, "Did he try anal?" I asked, trying to lighten the mood, "Please don't give Goyle the satisfaction of being right and say no."

She turned to me, mascara running down her cheeks and eyes bloodshot, "He said that Saturday night was a drunken mistake to take his mind off reality and that he never meant for us to get together at all."

I knew that I couldn't say anything to make her feel better, so I just climbed into bed with her, cleaned all traces of makeup from her face, and let her settle into my cuddle. She fell asleep quickly, and soon enough I followed suit.

Our last day of term. We had lessons for the morning, a send-off feast for lunch, and then we were to catch the trains at two o'clock sharp to get us the hell out of here. After not getting any packing done the night before, Pansy and I had a rushed job before breakfast to get at least the essentials together, ready for when the trunks got collected during the morning.

The day went pretty quickly overall, with the exception of moments with Pansy and Draco within close proximity of each other. I just hoped for all our sakes that she's gotten over it once the new year was here. Within no time at all, we were walking to Hogsmeade station to board the Hogwarts Express homeward bound.

The journey was almost exactly the same as the one we'd taken in September, only with a couple of differences; one was that this time when I fell asleep, I meant to cuddle Blaise as I went. And when I say exactly the same, I mean it. The train stopped again, more violently this time, waking me up.

My head slammed against the table and I yelled in the pain, "What is happening?!"

Everyone was looking around and asking the same thing, "We don't know," Draco answered, "Once again."

The train started moving again, quicker than the last time, and Amelia went off in search of answers. I had barely got comfortable again before she was back; news really does travel fast between Hogwarts students.

"Well?" I asked, tiredly.

She paused, looking confused, "Looney Lovegood's been abducted by Death Eaters."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

The Christmas holidays went well overall. Blaise's parents went out for New Year's Eve celebration, so I went round to his to keep him company and make him dinner as a late Christmas present. The rest of my time off was spent with my parents and wider family. I was a bit annoyed at the time, not getting to see my friends at all apart from that one night, but in retrospect it was for the best; this was the last time I saw my family.

The night before going back to Hogwarts, my parents and I went out to eat in town at a new Indian restaurant. It was going great, lovely meal, but later that night I got a sickly feeling in my stomach and spent the night in the bathroom, throwing up.

The long journey back to school on the next day was hell. I turned up on the platform on my own as usual, sat down on my trunk and continued to feel like throwing up. I daren't open my mouth until I was safely in my room in the Slytherin common room, so I wasn't much company.

"Hey, Florence," Blaise said, upbeat, sitting down by me. He gave me a big hug, inducing the sickness feeling due to the tightness, and was confused when I didn't kiss him back, "What's up, buttercup?"

I mustered up the restraint to open my mouth and keep my belly at bay, "Feel sick. Food poisoning or something."

"Shit, Flo, I'm sorry! Are you okay? Do you want water or anything?" I shook my head, "Can I get you anything at all?" I shook my head again, "You want to just keep quiet?" I shook my head again, leaning against him as he put his arm around me. I stayed mute for the journey, just cuddled up to Blaise and staring out the window. I wasn't sick then, but as soon as we got to the dorm, I rushed straight to the loos and stayed there for a good half hour.

I had to miss the belated New Year's Eve party that was held that night, I remained bedridden instead to avoid throwing up over everyone. I expected Blaise to come and join me, give me some company as I lay in bed alone, reading, but he never showed up. Not that I'm complaining, it was a good book, I just thought he'd show up.

There was a point when I thought I heard him coming up, around half eight, "Oh finally!" I exclaimed, "I was starting to think you'd forgotten about me."

The door opened, but Blaise wasn't behind it, "How could I forget about you, Carrow?" Draco replied.

"Oh! Malfoy, I wasn't expecting you! What do you want?"

"Thanks for the warm welcome, means a lot," he smirked, "I was going to give you some company seeing as you're all on your own, but if this is the treatment I get then I'll just go."

"No! Stay. You know what I mean. Why aren't you partying?"

He sat down on my bed as I shuffled into a sitting position, "Wasn't having any fun, really. Pansy's still fragile after the break-up and I'm just not in much of a sociable mood."

"You angsty bastard. Sounds like a great time then." I replied sarcastically.

"But can we not talk about Pansy? Really not in the mood tonight."

"All I'm hearing is angst, angst, angst from you Malfoy!"

"Fuck off, Carrow; you want me to force feed you until you vom?"

"It'll be aimed at you if you dare."

We laughed. Draco and I spent the evening chatting about the holidays and all, and in the end I forgot all about the queasy feeling in my belly and the fact that Blaise hadn't shown up. He got me in my sorry state ready for bed and insisted that I try to get to sleep before the girls came up. Probably for the best, don't think it would've done me any good to have the smell of alcohol filling my nose.

I forced myself out of bed the next day, skipping breakfast to avoid the rich smells making me feel even worse. I found a big bottle of water on my bedside table as I woke, thinking that maybe Blaise had stopped by to check on me when I was asleep, and left this for whatever reason. While the other four frantically rushed around to get ready in their hung-over state, I took it slow, making sure I didn't hurry myself into an even sicklier state as I went. Nobody talked much, I guess trying to avoid headaches or whatever.

"See you in Dark Arts, Flo?" Hazel asked just as she was shutting the door behind them.

"Yeah, of course. I can't miss any school now, _even _Dark Arts."

"Okay, see you there!"

You might be wondering why we were going to a class on the Dark Arts and not its defence. Well, it's officially called Defence Against the Dark Arts, but the way my uncle was teaching it, it didn't feel defensive anymore. We were encouraged to practice the Unforgivable Curses, and generally spent the time duelling. Amycus even brought in Dementors and Inferi at times, which really freaked a lot of us out. I sat on my own in the few minutes before class, waiting for everyone else to filter in. Hazel sat down beside me just as Amycus came in to start.

"Good morning, class," he said sternly.

"Morning, Professor," we all mumbled in return.

"Today, we will be continuing our work on the three Unforgivable Curses, which are of course…"

"The Imperius Curse, the Cruciatus Curse, and the Killing Curse," the class mumbled back in unison, as we did every lesson he brought them up in.

"Fantastic," he sarcastically congratulated, "And before anybody brings it up _again_," he shot a look at Neville, "We have been given _specific _Ministry permission to be teaching and practicing these in Hogwarts. We are not, I repeat _not_, doing anything illegal that will result in anybody going to Azkaban. So you can get off your high horses and just be prepared to learn.

"So, on with the lesson. Your work last term on the Imperius Curse was… Decent. If I remember correctly, most of you managed to use and resist it with a certain degree of success. And so, for the next term, we will be moving on to study the Cruciatus Curse," I gulped, "I figured I'd just throw you all in at the deep end, probably the best way to start, so you will all be practicing this curse today."

I turned to Hazel, wide eyed and rather scared, "I don't want to do this," I whispered to her in a panic.

"Me neither!" she replied in the same fashion, "I don't want to hurt that bad or make anyone go through it!"

"Me neither!"

"Is there a problem girls?" Amycus interrupted, "Rosier? Carrow?"

"Err… No, sir," I stuttered, "W-we were just saying that… Err… That we-"

"Professor, I think it's highly unfair that you're making people to do this," Neville piped up from the back, "You can't just force people to inflict or take the Cruciatus Curse! It's immoral!"

"Longbottom, are you questioning my teaching techniques_ again_?!"

"Yes!" he was standing up now. You've got to hand it to him, Neville's a lot braver than I remember from all those years ago, "You can't make your students harm each other! I'm pretty sure no one here will want to have the Curse done to them, so then what do you do? You've got no one to practice on!"

"Well, Longbottom, in that situation, we will use it as punishment on those who have stepped out of line; maybe someone who is being a loud-mouth know-it-all and severely pisses off his teacher every lesson? What do you say?" Neville stuttered for a while, "That's what I thought. You need to be taught a lesson, Longbottom, and I think it might be a good idea for that to happen today."

"B-but… You can't-"

"Front and centre, Longbottom."

"But-"

"FRONT AND CENTRE!" Neville conceded and approached the desk where Amycus was sitting, "Let this be a lesson to all of you to just keep your mouths shut and do as you're told.

"So, class, to finally get on with the lesson, you will all be practicing the Cruciatus Curse on Longbottom here. No ifs. No buts. No excuses. If anyone makes a fuss, they will be joining him. To cast the Curse, you must jab your wand at your victim and yell 'Crucio'. There's no defence that will work, so don't even try, Longbottom. For the Curse to really work, you've got to mean it; if your heart's not in what you're doing, you'll only inflict pain for a small amount of time.

"You'll each have five seconds of casting time on Longbottom, after which we'll give him a bit of time to rest before his next five seconds. Hopefully he won't pass out before you're all done. After this, we'll finish up with a write up of what you did. Any questions?" the room filled with silence, "Fantastic. Form an orderly queue."

We all did as he said, lining up down the centre aisle of the classroom in front of the desk that Neville was propped up against. Dean went first, apologising profusely before finally casting. Most people did this, though not usually to the lengths that Dean did, and Neville's reply was always the same: "It's fine, honestly. It's not like any of us have a choice in the matter."

Each time someone had there go, Neville was knocked back into a lying position on the desk, shaking rapidly for his five seconds of torture. He took about a minute after to muster up the courage to get up again, a duration which slowly got longer and longer as we got further and further into the lesson. It was my turn about two thirds of the way through, after which I apologised a lot and gave him some of my water, hoping it'd help. I got pushed away by Amycus, though, spraying water all over Neville and the desk.

"Did I ask you to help Longbottom?!" he asked enraged.

"No but he's suffering terribly! I can't just sit idle by and do nothing," I answered defiantly, looking angrily into his eyes. He didn't yell at me or anything, thank goodness, he just pushed to the side and called the next pupil forward. The last two before Neville could rest again were Crabbe and Goyle, and they got really into it. Out of everyone, they were the two who really got into it. I've never known why, but they've hated Neville ever since first year, and I bet they've been waiting all their Hogwarts careers to do this. Once they'd finished, Neville passed out. In all honesty, I didn't think he'd last that long at all, but Neville's strong. He didn't deserve any of this.

"Okay, let's finish off with these notes," Amycus began, pushing Neville off the desk and onto the floor, "Somebody make sure Longbottom copies up the notes when he regains consciousness. And Dean, get him up to the Hospital Wing at break, will you?" Dean nodded.

At the end of the period, Hazel and I walked out into the corridor sheepishly and stunned. Blaise was leaning against the wall when we got out, ready to give me a hug, "You okay, doll? You look paler than yesterday."

"No, no I'm not. First, thanks for the water, it's really helping," I paused to give him a kiss on the cheek, during which I heard him murmur something confusedly, "Second, we just had a lesson on the Cruciatus Curse and had to use it, too."

"Fuckin' hell is that even legal?! Did you get hurt Flo?"

"No, no I didn't get practiced on."

"Well then, who did?" Neville floated out of the classroom at that point, guided by Dean, so we gestured at him, "Longbottom?! Ha! Weakling."

"I'd like to see you last through over thirty hits of Crucio in one sitting and not pass out!"

"Whoa, easy! Why are you standing up for Longbottom?"

"Because he just had to go through more pain in a short space of timethan you're ever likely to feel in your life, and yet you think he's weak? I-"

"Anyway!" Hazel cut in, "What've you got next Flo?"

I sighed, "A free."

"Well, I've got Ruins so I'll see you at lunch if you can stomach it," she smiled at me, giving me a hug and then leaving.

"See you later, Blaise," I huffed as I made my way to the common room. I knew I had work to do, but it seemed more productive to sleep off my bad mood for a bit before starting.


	8. Chapter 8

January held no great importance. I started to feel better after a fortnight or so, and after that everything started to feel easier, although it was really getting harder. Teachers were talking more and more about our end of year exams, and, yes, this was stressful, but I was just glad to not have my measly last meals trying to make an appearance at any given moment. We went to class, we worked for the evenings, we savoured any free time we could get together.

Blaise and I were getting serious and I could physically feel myself falling in love with him. Come February, we'd been going out for nearly three months, and even though it felt like he was holding back a bit when it came to getting intimate, I was getting ready to tell him that I loved him; that was until someone put a spanner in the works.

One Wednesday evening, I was in the dorm doing Charms homework with Amelia, practicing some water-making spells and answering some questions as we went. It wasn't going too badly, in fact I found it rather easy, but all of a sudden Amelia burst, "I can't take this anymore!"

"Whoa, mate, calm it!" I replied, "If I'm going too fast we can slow down, I didn't know you were finding it that bad. Sorry."

"No! It's not the homework, that's a piece of piss. It's… It's…"

"What is it?" I shuffled closer to her and wrapped my arm around her shoulder, getting worried, "Amy, what's up? Is it family problems?" she shook her head, "Work?" she shook her head again, "Friends?" she nodded, "What've we done?"

"It's not you, Florence, you've done nothing. And that's what pisses me off! You've done nothing, so why?"

"Is that a bad thing? Should I have done something?"

"No, I don't mean it like that, I mean you've done nothing to deserve this so why?!"

"Amelia, you're making no sense, what's happened? You're scaring me."

She paused, taking a deep breath while tears slowly filled her eyes, "At the New Year party, I was trying to find the girlies so we could check you were okay on your own. As I was on my search, I… I…"

"You what, honey?"

"I saw Blaise and Pansy making out in a corner before disappearing up the stairs that lead to that broom cupboard!" she cried out quickly, throwing her arms around me and burying her head into my shoulder, "I'm so sorry I haven't told you sooner! It's just I didn't want to tell you while you were ill and then there just hasn't been a right time and then tonight I realised there'll never be a right time and I just… Oh I'm so sorry! Please forgive me!"

I just sat there for a while, absorbed in Amelia's crying and trying to figure out what was happening, "It's fine, Amy," I finally let out, pulling her out of my shoulder so I could look her in the eyes, "I'm not mad at you, of course I'm not! You did nothing wrong, you were only trying to protect me. I-I'm gonna go and find Blaise."

"You want me to come with you?" she sniffed in return.

"No, no you've done enough, Amy," I answered, trying to smile, "It'd be better if we were alone, you know?" she nodded as I got up to leave the dorm. I wandered slowly down to the common room, the only explanation for my calm being that I was hoping that what I had just been told, my boyfriend cheating on me with my best friend, wasn't true. He wasn't in the common room. I made my way up the stairs to the boy's dorm, hoping he'd be there because this is the kind of thing that couldn't wait. The boys were getting changed out of their uniforms, so there were a lot of half-naked boys in my wake at this moment. I didn't care though, I didn't take any notice; all I did was stare at Blaise until he realised, after Pike's scream, that I was there.

"Flo, what're are you doing? We're changing!" Crabbe yelled.

"Yeah, babe, what are you doing here?" Blaise repeated.

"We need to talk," I answered monotonously, staring into Blaise's eyes with mine dead ones.

"Err I've got quite a busy night, lots of Arithmacy and-"

"We need to talk."

"I'm not even-"

"We. Need. To. Talk. _Now_."

"Err okay then," he did his shirt back up and followed me to the window overlooking the thawing lake, "What's up, honey?"

"Don't call me honey," I paused, taking deep breaths as I tried to figure out how to ask what I wanted to, "Did you, or did you not, make out with Pansy at the New Year's party?"

"What?! Where-"

"Answer the question, Blaise. Did you, or did you not, make out with Pansy?"

"You still haven't-"

"Answer the fucking question, Blaise. Did you, or did you not?"

"I did, but-"

I took another deep breath, trying not to cry, "And did you, or did you not, then proceed to have sex with her in that broom cupboard?" I interrupted.

This time, he paused too, "I did, but I-"

"Well, that's all I needed to hear. See you later, Blaise. Don't come knocking on my door anytime soon, thank you very much." I interrupted once more, walking away from him.

"Wait! Is that it?"

"Well, what did you expect? A fucking congratulation? Gold star to Blaise Zabini for losing his virginity to his girlfriend's best friend! Happy now?"

"No! That's not what I meant! I mean… What happens now?"

"Well not this relationship for a start. You can stay away from me if you think I'm okay with this kind of thing."

His voice started breaking, "So this is it for us?"

I lost my temper at this point, striding back to Blaise and slapping him, "Of course this is it! Did you not hear me before? You fucked your girlfriend's best friend! It's bad enough to be a cheater but with someone so close to the one being cheated on is just sickening! I'm in love with you! Sorry, correction, I _was_ in love with you; I was getting ready to tell you sometime in the next week. But that was before I found out you banged Pansy! Did you expect to keep this a secret forever?! Did you think you'd both just forget and it'd all blow over? Things have a way of surfacing, Zabini, and I'm just glad it did now before I went and told you something I'd regret in hindsight."

I paused for a moment, wiping my tears away and catching my breath, "Why did you do it? I just don't understand why you would do such a thing."

"We were drunk and she was still damaged after the whole thing with Malfoy and just desperate for someone to shag! But you've got to understand I was very drunk and wouldn't've done it if I wasn't!"

"That's no excuse! When you're drunk, you're either sober enough to have an inkling of sense not to cheat or you're so drunk you're passed out on the floor! There's no in-between where cheating seems like a good idea!"

"I know, but-"

"If you know then why did you do it? Was I not enough for you? Was I not good enough for you? I thought we were happy and good and then I get this bombshell on me and I see that over half our relationship has been a lie! No wonder you didn't want to have sex, you were getting enough of that from Pansy!"

"We only did it that one time!"

"Still one time too many," I paused again to wipe my eyes and keep down everything I was feeling, "You broke my heart, Blaise, and for that I can never forgive you. Don't bother talking to me anymore, heck, don't bother coming near me. Just have a great time with Pansy and leave me alone."

"But I-" I always already running down the stairs before I could hear the rest of that sentence. The tears started to fall thick and fast as I tried to get to my dorm before anyone could see. One the way up to the room, I ran past Draco who was walking in the opposite direction; I heard him call my name as I shot past him but I really didn't care, I just carried on running. I burst through the door and onto my bed where my books were still spread out from Charms homework.

"Florence?" Amelia called softly from her bed before raising her voice in urgency, "Florence?!" she ran over and wrapped me in a tight hug, "Oh, honey, I'm so sorry! What happened? Did he admit it? What happened?"

I held back the tears long enough to give her a basic reply, "He admitted it all, and I dumped him."

"Did you make him pay for it?"

"I slapped him, if that's what you mean."

"Girl power," she lifted my face out of my pillow to face her, smiling at me and then wiping the tears from my eyes, "Oh, Florence, I'm so sorry. You really were a great couple, but then he just ruined it."

"Yeah, well it takes two to tango."

"I know, I know. Hazel and I will talk to Pansy sometime tonight, but will you promise me that you'll at least try to forgive her? I don't care if you don't forgive Blaise, as far as I'm concerned he's scum; but please try to forgive Pansy. Not like being best mates or anything again, just so we can have a decent last term and a half together. What do you say?"

"I'll try," I conformed solemnly, "Thank you."

"Anytime, Flo," I saw her spy the bow on my bedside table, "What're you gonna do about this?"

"I have an idea."

We grabbed the bow and went down to the common room. Amelia went up the stairs to the boy's dorm and saw that no one was in there, "It's safe. They've probably gone to dinner already."

I climbed to their door and we snuck in quietly. I placed the bow on Blaise's pillow, pointed my wand at it and whispered, "Incendio."

It wasn't enough to blow the place up, just enough to place a small flame on the accessory. Hopefully, by the time they get back, it'll be burnt black, somewhat resembling how I view Blaise's heart now.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

I became very antisocial after having my heart snapped in two in this way. I stayed in my room working for the evening, I was very quiet at meals, in fact I was very quiet most of the time unless I was around Amelia or Hazel. I forgave Pansy in the end, pretty much as a kind of thank you to Amelia, but our relationship was never really the same again; I worked with Pike more often than not in Transfiguration and never made any conscious effort to socialise with Pansy. As for Blaise, he stayed out of my way and I stayed out of his.

After a while, I started caring less about what had happened and getting on with my life, which made it easier to get on with Pansy. She apologised enough for what she'd done, but we both knew it would never really restore our friendship to what it once was. Time really was the best healer.

The further and further we got into the year, the darker our lives and the school became. We saw much less of Snape, homework got even more mountainous, I guess to try to confine us more to our common rooms, and punishments became even more common and lethal than before; I'd received a letter from my dad saying that he was ill one evening and so went to find my aunt and uncle to see if they'd heard the same or maybe any more. The used the Cruciatus Curse on me for being out of bed after curfew. MacMillan was wrong, I wouldn't be getting any special treatment because the heads of punishment were my relatives.

The other thing I started noticing more and more was really surprising and even more daring by whoever did it. On any surface you can imagine (walls, inside and out, chairs, tables, caldrons, books, blackboards, you name it), the words _Dumbledore's Army, Still Recruiting_. I heard rumours about Dumbledore's Army; they were this group that formed in fifth year to fight for Dumbledore and against Umbridge who was 'High Inquisitor' at the time, whatever the fuck that is. I didn't really get into the whole Inquisitorial Squad thing, but most of the others did and I was sure they said that they caught them and disbanded them… Maybe not after all!

"Okay, class," Professor Slughorn began at the start of our Potions lesson one day, "I have some important business to be doing with regards to your end of year exams. I've set you some revision questions on all the work we've covered this term and put them on some parchment on each desk. You are to be getting on with them in silence so we can all focus, and anything you don't finish will be homework. Okay, off you go!"

When he said silence, he meant silence. If Slughorn so much as heard a peep out of anyone, he made a note to hold them back for five minutes after the lesson, so we all learnt pretty quickly to keep our mouths shut for what was to be the dullest hour and a half of the year. I was sat next to Draco and wanted to talk to him really badly, but also didn't want to waste my lunch in there, so I kept my mouth shut. Then I saw it; in the little outside pocket his black satchel was a bottle of Zonko's Incredible Invisible Ink.

I leant down to get it, and Draco spotted me, "What are you-" he started to whisper before I put my finger to my lips threateningly. I got the bottle out of the jar and gestured towards it, smiling. He caught my drift and started writing something on some spare parchment.

_What's up?_ he began in his precise and thin handwriting.

I picked up my wand and pointed it at the page, casting the spell Aparecium in my head (we did this after every message),_ I've left it long enough, are you ready to talk about it yet?_

He paused, looking at me confused, _About what?_

_What happened with Pansy?_

_Oh… _he sighed, _I was a little down at the party for some reason, and she was just there. She was desperate, as usual, and just kind of came onto me._

_You sure it wasn't you who came onto her? ;)_

_Fuck off, Flo :P_

_Why were you upset?_

_I forget the details. But anyway, surely you know better than anyone that I didn't want anything serious with her?_

_I guess so._

_Why didn't you do something then?_

_It wasn't for me to meddle in, 2) You made her happy_

_For less than a week…_

_Better than nothing :)_

_I guess you're right… I didn't want to hurt her! I don't dislike Pansy, I just didn't want to be involved with her in that way._

_Why not? I mean, you might as well if you haven't got a girlfriend or anything like that._

_I get what you mean, but I was holding out for something along those lines, and as unlikely as it's seemed for a while now I'd still rather have that hope than a relationship with her._

_What're you holding out for?_

_Something special._

_By something, do you mean someone?_

… _Maybe._

_Who is she?! Or he, I'm not judging, I just wanna make sure they're good enough for you._

_Florence, you know I'm not gay. And I'm not telling you!_

_Can you tell me about her?_

… _Okay. She's strong, very strong. In an emotional way. Well, maybe in a physical way, apparently she can sting quite badly. But she's been through a lot of shit and still manages to get on. She's ambitious, smart, kind, funny, can be quiet at times but usually within good reason._

_Merlin's beard you're in love with Hermione, aren't you! It seemed unlikely, well she's a Muggle-born Gryffindor who hasn't shown up at all this year, so tick. Ambitious, kind, smart, basically the three words anybody would use to describe her. Strong physically, well she punched you back in third year so you'd know! YOU LOVE HERMIONE!_

It took him a while to read, but once he'd got through he stared at me in disbelief, _NO. I DO NOT LOVE GRANGER. NO. No, it's not her, and just stop guessing because I won't say yes even if you are right._

_Changing subject, how are you now? After the whole Blaise shit?_

_No, that's still too fresh to delve into I'm afraid._

_If it makes you feel any better, I had a massive fight with him that night about it. We both said things that were a bit bitchy but I don't care. It was so not cool what he did and you didn't deserve it._

_Thank you._

_I mean it! He treated you like scum! And you deserve better than that. You put up with all sorts of shit without asking for any help, and more just wasn't needed. You just…You deserve someone like… _he paused, _Just someone better._

_Someone like who?_

Draco didn't reply for a moment, looking like her was going through some sort of internal battle. I returned to looking at the work I was meant to be doing, but then was distracted. Draco took hold of my hand and held it under the desk, stroking my thumb every infrequently with his. I looked up at him, lips parted and eyebrows raised, and he just looked back at me with a slight gentle smile. I was so confused as to what this meant; was he continuing his comforting he'd been doing just then? Was he trying to alert me to something? Did he mean I deserved someone like him?

I didn't have much time for figuring it out, though, because within about ten seconds of him taking my hand, the bell rang and Draco shot out of the classroom without saying another word.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

I didn't ask Draco about what his hand-holding meant, there was no good time do bring it up and it was probably just an impulsive action that meant nothing anyway; at least that's what I kept telling myself anyway. Nevertheless, I did think about it a bit, when I was bored in class or falling asleep at night, it kept me company and gave me something pleasant to think about. He acted differently around me after that, not noticeably so that the others could pick up on it, but little things changed. He kept catching my eye, in the common room, at dinner, in lessons, anytime really. It was as if we had this alert that would go off when one of us was looking at the other; it was cute.

Exams were starting to get unnervingly close. All the teachers started stressing out because we weren't really where they expected us to be with our knowledge and understanding, so they started cracking down even more in lessons and giving us even more homework. They took no shit from anybody, starting to lose some of the guilt and fear they felt when they sent you to the Carrows for bad behaviour as they did so more. All of this, of course, stressed us out a lot as well.

All professors did this; well, all but one.

Professor Sprout remained her jolly, good spirited, calm self, even in the run up to the end of our final year. We got a fair amount of homework from her after every lesson, but not nearly as much as from every other teacher, and the lessons were always so enjoyable. Even though Herbology wasn't my best subject, it definitely became my favourite. None of my other friends did it, so, though this isn't usually something I'd be happy about, it was nice to have to alone time, really.

"Good afternoon, class!" we all replied with the same, "Okay, seeing as we've finished the course now, we'll be revising from now until the end of term. You'll be doing a practical with some Chinese Chomping Cabbages today so you'll need all your safety equipment and to get into pairs. Well what're you waiting for? Go!"

I looked around for someone on their own, a downside of not having friends with you in the class. I spotted Neville across the table doing the same and decided to go over to him, "Hey, Neville," I smiled at him, "You got a partner yet?"

"Err what? No, everyone else is paired up."

"I'm not. Wanna partner with me?"

"Oh, yeah sure, sounds good," he seemed apprehensive.

"You okay, mate? You looked worried about something."

"Yeah, it's just… I probably should be talking to you, let alone working with you."

"Why not? I don't bite!"

He chuckled, "I know, but your aunt and uncle do, and probably will when they find out about this."

"Well, first off, I have no intention of telling them so odds are they won't find out; and second, why would they bite you for it?"

"They hate me! Ever since the start of the year, I've, probably stupidly, stood up to them when I didn't agree with something they've said or done. So, of course, they've punished me harder and harder each time, so, naturally, they hate me… And I guess after hearing all this you do, too."

"I don't hate you; I think you're brave," he looked at me, grinning, as he put the pot on the table, "Believe me, I'd do the same if they were the kind of relatives you could challenge. But they're not, they'd just get angry and have a go, and then send an owl to my mum who would get angry and have a go."

"Fair does. At least you don't get it too bad, being their niece and all."

"If you think that then you're wrong, mate. I got cursed just for going to them after curfew because I got an owl saying my dad was ill."

"Crucio?"

"Yup. I'm just lucky I didn't get it a multitude of times, really," I grimaced, "I'm still so sorry about that."

Neville shrugged, "It's not your fault. Think he'd been looking for an excuse to _really _cause me pain for a while and I just gave it to him that day."

"How bad was it?"

"Some of it wasn't too bad, what with people not meaning it, but then again that's only in comparison to Crabbe and Goyle. It was all bad enough to make me wish I was anywhere but there, but then some people just really meant it so it was so much worse. I remember waking in the hospital wing that evening with Ginny and Luna by my bed and Dean explaining to them what had happened. I wasn't allowed out until dinner time the next day."

"That's terrible!" I exclaimed.

"That's life," he shrugged again, pausing after to actually do some of the work we were meant to be doing, "Can I tell you a secret?"

"If you like. I promise I won't spread it if you do."

"I'm gonna disappear someday soon."

"You what?!" I cried out in surprise.

"Keep your voice down! I don't need everyone knowing!" he paused again while the rest of the class got back to work, "Your aunt and uncle have realised they've got nothing on me anymore. They tried to get my gran the other day, I guess they've been doing a lot of that recently, only in reverse. They assumed that capturing a weak, old lady would straighten me out, but they got a surprise when they found out how strong she was! She gave 'em a run for their money and is now on the run. I got an owl the other day, though, explaining it all and telling me she's alright."

"Bloody hell. So why do you need to go too?"

"Well, seeing as they've seen that discipline has no effect on my behaviour, and they can't blackmail me with my family's safety, so fuck knows what they're gonna try next! I've decided I don't wanna find out, so I'm gonna go into hiding sometime soon."

"Wow… You really are a proper Gryffindor, aren't you?"

"Is that meant to be sarcasm, Carrow?" Neville smirked at me.

"No! No, I mean it! I would've caved long before now and would just be conforming so I didn't get hurt. But you're really standing up for what you believe in."

"Well, thank you. Hopefully it won't be the last thing I do, but you can never tell these days…" he sighed, "Hang about, I've heard you're one to stand up for your beliefs too."

"How so?"

"I heard about you and Blaise."

"What?! How-"

"Well, it's a secret. So, naturally, it's travelled like wildfire in Hogwarts."

"Sounds about right. Who did you hear from?"

He squinted in thought, "Luna, I think. She told me that she'd been told that he got with Pansy while he was smashed one night, and when you found out you whacked him one and told him where to shove his affection."

"Well you make it sound badass when you put it like that! It was more just trying to find out what was going on calmly, and then hold back the tears once he'd revealed all. Yes, I slapped him, but I'd never regret it."

"So you shouldn't! It's disgusting what he did and he deserved all he got and more."

I smiled up at Neville and he concentrated in on the cabbage, "Why have we never been friends before?"

"Because of the people we hang out with. I'm pretty sure you'd be exiled if you were caught hanging out with me or any of my mates."

"I guess you're right… Well it's a shame. You're a great guy, Neville."

"And you Florence, and you," the bell rang to signify the end of the lesson, "You coming?"

"Nah, I'll stay behind to help clear up. I usually do anyway and should probably explain to Professor Sprout that I won't be around for much longer."

"Well, if I don't see you again until then, good luck."

I looked around to check that at least all the Slytherins had emptied the greenhouse. When I saw that everyone had vacated, I moved in to hug Neville, giving him a quick, **friendly** kiss on the cheek before grabbing my satchel to leave for lunch.

A couple of weeks before we were due to leave for the Easter holidays, we were told that we wouldn't be allowed to. We'd have time off, less than we would've had we been going home, but still time off. I was upset that I wouldn't be seeing my parents again until the summer, now, but at least it meant I'd get some decent revision done in time for exams. A few people actually tried to sneak out of the school to go home for the holidays, foolishly thinking they'd get past the Death Eaters and Dementors on the exits. They were subject to all kinds of torture; Alecto and Amycus, and Crabbe and Goyle who helped in an attempt to boost their grades while 'having fun', were straying even out of the Unforgivable Curses to punish people now, usually physically beating them up. Students came into the Great Hall for meals with battle scares all over their bodies, if they came in at all, that is.

I decided to write a letter to my parents, a little update to make up for my upcoming absence. I wrote a bigger letter to both of them, and then a smaller one just addressed to dad:

_Dear dad,_

_I hope you're feeling better and being well looked after at home. I tried to see if Alecto and Amycus knew anything about it but didn't have great success, so I hope you are better!_

_I broke up with Blaise some weeks ago now. There was a party on the first night back at school after New Year, and I was still ill from the Indian so didn't go. They ended up getting drunk and getting it on in my absence. I found out around a month later, or something like that, and ended things. It was hard, but for the best. At least I got a proper relationship before leaving Hogwarts, even if half of it was a lie. Do you remember Terrence in fifth year? Yeah, sadly I do, too._

_I'll stop beating around the bush and cut to the chase. Dark things are happening at Hogwarts, and they're getting more and more frequent. Students are getting punished if they step one foot even slightly out of line. Students are rebelling against staff they don't trust. Students are trying to run away and go into hiding. We haven't seen Snape in weeks! Something's going to happen so, before the end of the year, I can feel it._

_There's are problem though. I don't know what side I'm on. On the one hand, I'm with the Dark. I mean, Alecto and Amycus are, so there's a bit of a history of it in the family, and mum's obviously more in favour of that side. And then there are my friends, most with Dark Pureblood names: Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle, Nott. When the time comes, I know what side they'll be choosing._

_But then, I don't believe in the Dark ideologies that they do. I don't care about blood supremacy, I'm happy to be friends with anyone no matter what their background. Harry Potter's never given me any cause to want him dead, I don't think we've ever said more than a few words to each other._

_So where does this leave me? It's something I've been mulling over for ages now, and I just draw a blank every time! Can you help me? Tell me if there's anything I'm missing? Oh, and keep this to yourself. I know what mum will tell me to do._

_Miss you lots, but love you more,_

_Florence x_


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

Much to my surprise, I got a letter back from my dad very shortly after I sent mine; nothing in reply to the general one I sent to both of them, just a little one from him alone:

_Dearest Florence,_

_I'm feeling much better now. We think it was just a spot of flu making me feel so bad, so nothing to run to St Mungo's about, though. We didn't see much point in telling your aunt or uncle about it, so that might be why you had little success._

_I'm very sorry to hear about Blaise. He seemed like such a nice boy when I met him at the station in December, I never would've thought he'd be the cheating type. Oh well, you had a good run, but better you found out now rather than after becoming hopelessly in love with him, eh? I hope you're okay now, dear, and yes, I do remember Terrence Higgs, as much as I've tried to forget him. I never _was_ able to get that stain out of the table cloth after his visit…_

_Oh Florence, my dear, this day was always going to come for you. I knew it would ever since that Halloween when the Potter boy's parents died. I knew the Dark Lord would come back with a vengeance; nobody can be killed from the Killing Curse reflecting off an infant, especially not the most powerful wizard of our time. I just hoped that by that time you'd know who you were a little more. That's not me trying to say that you should do by now! People spend their lives without knowing where their hearts lie, I only hoped you'd know by now so this was easier for you._

_I hope all this and more, so specifically, because I was in the same position with the First Wizarding War. I was a few years older than you are now, in my early twenties, and had just married your mother. She wasn't a Death Eater, but shared many views with them, so she got on great with my siblings who _were _Death Eaters (I'll give you two guesses who they were!). So when the war time came along, I was pretty much pushed into the darker corner. I wish now that I'd fought my way out of it, though, because my heart did not have an allegiance with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and his side._

_If your heart tells you to go against the flow and side with Harry Potter, then have the courage to do what I couldn't, and follow it. You will be thankful in years to come, and not be so filled with regret like I am now._

_Good luck, my love, and keep safe,_

_Love from Dad x_

Wow… Well that was unexpected!

Follow my heart… Follow my heart… He wanted me to do what I wanted and not what everyone else wanted me to do. This is why I love my dad, he just made everything sound so simple.

I sat on my bed, alone in the dorm, reading this over and over with Chickpea on my shoulder. It was safe to do so, everyone else in the house was in dinner. I rushed through my food after seeing the little letter on my bed on our way out of the dorm; I'd finished my main course while they were still part way through their starters, so I knew I had time. As I rushed out of the hall, I saw caldron cakes near Pansy, so I had hours, maybe weeks, before I'd need to worry about their return.

As I was mulling the letter over, after reading it for the fifth time, I could feel myself becoming uplifted at the thought of my choice being made. I noticed that I wasn't the only thing feeling uplifted as I saw the letter floating in the air in front of me.

"I've done a spell without a wand…" this was a massive feat for me; it's so advanced and I'd done it without even realising, so I was over the moon, "Oh my goodness! I've done magic without my wand! Fucking hell this is amazing! You're useless now, puny stick!" I mocked jokingly, pointing at the wand, "Ha ha! You may relax now, for I have my mind instead! Okay, you can come down now."

The letter remained in the air, "Come on, down you come, I want to read again!" it stayed floating in front of me; now I was the one being mocked, "Fuck's sake, sorry," I apologised to my wand (like you do… Totally normal), picking it up, "Finite Incantatum."

I heard a little puff of air to my left and a little squeak, "No…" I was realising what I'd done, "No… No! The one rule I'd set the dorm for the year! NO!"

Chickpea had burst into a pile of a few feathers on my shoulder. It's so easy to forget he's there, especially at night when he's all sleepy, and now he just wasn't there to forget anymore. I started to tear up. I know it's stupid; he's a little incarnated bird that I'd had for less than a year, but he'd been there for me all year when things were getting rough, and now he'd just gone, never to return.

I took his little feathers in my hand and the little box from under my bed that Blaise's bow had come in and started to descend the stairs. The common room was empty, I couldn't see a soul; that was until I saw the top of a blond head cropping out over the top of sofa, "Draco, what're you doing back from dinner so early?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing," he replied, turning to face me, "When you rushed off while we were all still on the soup I got worried, so I rushed too so I could come and check that you're okay and I got a stitch on the way here and I think I've got indigestion now but it's worth it, it's fine. Are you okay?"

I smiled at him, "I'm fine. Peachy, even."

"No you're not, I can see it in your eyes; you're upset. What's up?"

I looked down to the box in my hand, "Chickpea just died."

He looked at me, just as sad as I was, "I'm sorry."

We remained silent, and I then realised that we hadn't had a moment alone since that Potions class the other day. I started wondering whether or not to ask the questions that were flooding my head, and then remembered my dad's words to me, _Follow your heart_.

"So that's why I'm upset," I went and sat next to him, "Why are you upset?"

"Huh?"

"You said in Potions the other day that you were upset at Christmas; why?"

"Oh, Florence, there are so many things to be upset about."

"Can I hear one?"

He paused to think for a moment, "Can I tell you something I've never told anyone?"

"Of course! Go ahead," I encouraged, rather startled.

"Last year, the reason why I was so… Angsty all the time," Draco began slowly, "It was because… Lord Voldemort ordered me to kill Dumbledore."

I stared at him, mouth open wide in surprise, "Oh gosh! And did you?"

"No, I couldn't do it in the end. Snape did."

"No way!" I half yelled, "Fuck!"

"Yeah, it's messed up."

"You're telling me! No wonder you were upset! I'd never be able to get over something like that."

"Tell me about it," he paused again, looking like he was going through another internal battle, "But that wasn't what was making me sad at the party," he forced out.

"Oh! Well, what was that then, Draco?"

"Ermm… Well… It was because… I saw someone kissing the person I like."

"Oh. My. Goodness. YOU LIKE CRABBE!"

"NO! NO! NO!"

"Don't worry, mate, I'm kidding. I know you have standards."

"And that I'm not gay."

"If you say so," I teased further, "Were they kissing your special someone that you're holding out for?"

"Yes."

"No wonder it hurt. So, how are prospects looking with her now?"

"Ermm… I don't really know. I mean, I made a little advancement the other day, but nothing's happened since then and I'm not sure if anything will, what with exams coming up and all."

"Well, don't give up hope. What was the advancement?"

He paused again, fighting himself once more. I looked him in the eyes, trying to look as friendly as I could. I opened the box and gave him one of Chickpea's feathers, hoping it would help. Straight after it touched his hand, he said it, "I held her hand under the table in Potions."

I kept staring into his eyes, unblinking. He meant me. I was the girl that Draco Malfoy, one of the only close friends that I've held onto since first year, was holding out for. It took a moment to process what was going on, I felt like I had to pause time just to give myself a chance. I was the girl he was holding out for. And then, everything started making sense. I realised that I must've been staring at him, expressionless, for a worrying amount of time now, so I cracked a small smile, just big enough to let him know everything was fine, "Me?"

If he'd have said no at this point, I would've felt like the biggest idiot alive; but thank fuck he didn't, "Yes, Florence, you. It's always been you."

And in a way, a very supressed, secret-even-to-myself way, I guess it'd always been him, too. I'd never noticed because he was always just a good friend to me, just one of those great mates I'd managed to hang onto. I remembered my dad again. _Follow your heart_. I knew exactly what my heart wanted, and I let it have its wish.

I leant across the sofa towards Draco, pulling him in towards me by his tie, and indulged myself in the most meaningful kiss I'd ever experienced. A tear rolled down my cheek as I took in what was happening. Yes, it was always Draco. It all felt so right. I pulled away for a moment to make sure that this was what he wanted, looking into his eyes and waiting for confirmation. He brushed my hair behind my ear and held the back of my neck, "I've waited so long to do this."

His other hand met the back of my neck as he pulled me back in to kiss again. The kiss with Blaise all those months ago was good, it was weeks of built up will-it-won't-it, curious lust getting released all at once; this one with Draco had meaning. I mean, yes, it was passionate, but it was so much more than that, too. It was like an epiphany. Were we worried about people coming back to find us like this? Probably slightly, but there were more important things going on to think about.

He shuffled along the leather sofa, getting even closer to me and keeping a frim hold on my neck. I hung my legs over one of his, leading him to depart one of his hands from my neck for it to rest on my thigh. I realised I was still gripping his tie, and so ran one hand through Draco's hair and placed the other on his hip, feeling his heat radiating through his shirt. He released his other hand from its hold on my neck and met my hand with it; he took it in his own and brought them down to shoulder height.

We remained like this for what seemed like a little infinity, and happily would've stayed in the same way for one much longer, but got interrupted in the end, by a deep, slow and less than impressed voice, "Mr Malfoy," said Snape from the doorway, startling us both, "If you can bare to pull yourself away from Miss Carrow for a moment, you are required urgently at your house. Your mother has arrived via the Floo Powder network are says that you are to come immediately. Follow me to my office."

Draco looked back at me and, without saying a word, got up slowly. Are hands were still intertwined, and before separating them, he brought mine to meet his lips, bowing to kiss it, "_Now_, Mr Malfoy," and at these words, he made for the door, looking back just as he passed through it.

"Wow," I whispered, smiling to myself and probably blushing madly.

Draco and I didn't really become a couple after that; we held hands under the potions table a lot more, and sometimes sneaked off to some place or other to be alone, usually just chat but kiss a bit, too. There was one time late in the holidays where everybody went down to the lake for the day to revise, but we stayed behind for a bit, saying that we needed to do some Potions that involved fire so we had to stay behind to use the fireplace (all bullshit, of course). We went up to the empty boys' dorm and chatted for a bit, but then deciding that making out would be much more fun.

"We should probably get going now," I decided after around an hour.

"I'll meet you down there in a bit. I've gotta decided what I'll need for the day and then need to write a letter to the parents."

"Am I allowed to know what about?" I smiled, taking his hand in mine.

"Just check how things are going and all that, really."

"About the Potter hunt?"

"Yup."

"You sure it wasn't him they found that night?"

"Not at all, but there's no point in making some innocent guy pay the consequences when he's done nothing wrong. If anyone's going to get that sort pain, it should be Potter."

I leant down and gave him a kiss, "Fair enough. Okay, well I'll see you in a bit, then. Tell them I say hi?"

"Will do."

I gave him one final kiss and then took off down the stairs to get my books and get out to the grounds. Just as I reached the bottom, I saw Blaise sitting by the fireplace, "So you needed to use fire, eh?"

I panicked, but hopefully covered it up well, "We finished the fire bit a while ago, but decided to do a kind of mock write-up, revision session before coming back."

"In our dorm?"

"What's wrong with that?"

"Bit intimate isn't it? What's wrong with the common room?"

"Nothing. What's it to you? Why do you feel the need to poke around in all my business?"

"Because I know what's going on, Flo. I went out with you, remember? I know you."

"Well at least one of us knew the other," I replied bitterly, getting pissed off.

"It was one time!" Blaise shouted.

"One time too many!" I shouted in return.

"Anyway, that's not the point. What I'm trying to say is that Malfoy's using you."

"Oh really? Well I'm so glad that you think you know so much more about our business that we do," I mock congratulated, "Do tell me why the great, intelligent Blaise Zabini thinks that Draco's using me and what he's using me for!"

"Oh fuck off, Carrow, with your sarcasm. It's obvious that you're sneaking off to get together all the time, everyone knows!"

"And how does everyone know?"

"Because I brought it up one time when you both were away and that's all we really talk about when you leave now."

I huffed, "Well we're not getting together when we go away, we just chat and occasionally kiss, but it's _lovely _that you all care so much about us," I mocked sarcastically again, "Why does that mean that he's using me, then?"

"You saw how he treated Pansy! One shag and he was out of there like a shot; only in it to get some action."

"It wasn't like that at all."

"How was it then?"

"I'm not gonna give you the satisfaction of knowledge. You'll just go and spread it like you do everything."

"You don't know."

"I do! He told me a couple of weeks ago but it's quite secret."

"If you say so, Carrow. Anyway, he is using you. I've known the guy for longer so I know him better."

"We've known him the same amount of time, you absolute twat."

"But you haven't spent seven years sharing a dorm with him."

"We chat enough to make up for it, Zabini."

"Just trust me, he's using you for your mediocre body."

"Okay, firstly, fuck you very much, dickhead, on so many levels. Secondly, I made the mistake of trusting you once before and have learnt from that, so no, I won't be trusting you again. I trust what Draco says a lot more than what you claim."

"Whatever, Carrow. Just don't blame me when your heart gets broken."

I started up the stairs again, books in hand, with the intention of suggesting to Draco that we should revise somewhere else for the day, "Don't worry, I wouldn't give you the satisfaction of doing it twice."


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

After this run in with Blaise, I made even more of an effort to stay out of his way. He had no right to say that Draco was using me when he was talking out his ass. It didn't change anything else though; my hair was turning auburn again as May was rolling in, and Draco and I continued our little kinda-together-kinda-not relationship happily as it did.

"Okay, I'm sorry, Flo, but I've gotta ask," Amelia began one evening in early May, "Are you and Malfoy banging? Because Blaise has been saying for ages that whenever you two aren't around you're off fucking somewhere and he just knows and I'm just not sure… So are you?"

"We're not having sex, I can tell you that for certain. But when we go off we do kiss every now and then," I blushed.

"I knew it!" Hazel added in, "I've wanted you two to get together for so long! This makes me so happy!" she jumped up and gave me a big hug.

"Whoa, slow down, girl! We're not _together_ together officially, but I'm thinking of talking to him about it sometime tonight."

"Exciting! So will you two will be a couple soon?" Hazel squeaked.

"Looks like it," I smiled back.

"Are you sure that's what _he_ wants?" Pansy weighed in bitterly, looking up from Witch Weekly for the first time since the conversation began.

"Well, we'll have to find out, won't we?" I replied, looking her straight in the eyes as if inviting her to fight if she wanted. She didn't take me up on the offer, and instead resumed her reading immediately, "Actually, I might go and find out now."

"Oh, this is so exciting! Good luck!" Hazel yelled.

"See you on the other side, honey," Amelia said, somewhat calmer than Hazel, as she hugged me and shut the door behind me. As I was heading down the stairs, I bashed straight into Draco who was speeding in the opposite direction to me. We collided rather violently and nearly fell down the stairs, but instead fell backwards in a pile onto a few steps. As we noticed what was happening, we both started laughing, both sharing a quick kiss, "Well, hello there," I giggled, still laying on top of Draco.

"Evening," I laughed in return, kissing me once more before getting up.

"Why were you running up here? What did you want?" I asked, taking a seat on the step below us.

"Well," he started, joining me, "Ermm… Well, I was going to ask you if… If… Well, if you wanted to be my girlfriend properly? I mean, I know I'm probably not the ideal choice, what with being a skinny, albino guy in comparison to a dark, muscly guy. I just thought that seeing as we're kinda following now, maybe make it official? Shoot me down in flames if you think it's a bad idea, I just thought-"

"Yes."

"What?"

"Yes! I was just coming to ask you the same thing! Let's do it!"

"Yay!" Draco kissed me one final time, slow and deep to make it count, "Let's tell the others over dinner."

"Ditto," I replied. We started heading down towards the common room to have a sit down when we saw Slughorn come running in faster than I thought he'd be able to move.

"All students are to assemble in the Great Hall immediately!" he began to yell, breathing heavily, "I'm trusting you all to ensure that anyone not in here at the moment is in there too within ten minutes! Full attendance is required and there are absolutely _no_ exceptions! I'll be standing in the front left corner of the hall waiting for you all!"

"Gosh, I wonder what's happening!" I told Draco.

"So do I… I'll go and get the guys, you get the girls, meet back here in, like, one minute?"

"Sure. And remember, we wait until dinner to tell them all together."

"Definitely. See you in a moment!"

We parted ways and started running up our respective staircases to get everyone into the hall. There were no tables to sit at, not even chairs, we all just had to stand in the block of other students from our house, waiting in the dark to find out what was going on. No one, not even the teachers, knew what was going on. No one was being quiet, no one could stand still, we all just had to wait for goodness knows what. Then, all of a sudden, everybody became very quiet as Snape entered through the centre aisle.

"Many of you are surely wondering," he began in his usual tone," why I have summoned you here at this hour. It has come to my attention that earlier this evening, Harry Potter was sighted in Hogsmeade."

The room erupted in a murmured noise, but was soon controlled again when Snape decided to resume, "I mention this in the hopes that truth will not be supplanted by rumour. For myself and a few select members of the staff, this comes as little surprise. We have, for some time, considered Mr Potter's return to Hogwarts to be not only possible, but inevitable. Consequently, in the past several months and under my specific direction, exhaustive defensive strategies have been employed to defeat any attempted Mr Potter might make to breach these walls. But know this; should anyone, student or staff, attempt to aid Mr Potter, that person will be punished in a manner consistent with the severity of their transgression. Furthermore, anyone found to have knowledge of these events who fails to come forward will be treated as equally guilty," Snape paused, I'm guessing to enjoy the scared silence as his threats sunk in, "Now then, if anyone here has any knowledge of Potter's movements, I invite them to step forward. _Now_."

The hall remained in its eerie silence for an unbearable long period of time. I started thinking to myself, there must be plenty of people right now who know his whereabouts; Neville, Ginny, Luna, Dean, Cho, Seamus, at least one of them must have at least an inkling! And for that I admire them. They'd just been given a very ambiguous but very serious threat, but they're not afraid; they'd rather keep Harry safe. It's no wonder I wasn't a Gryffindor, I'm such a coward! I'd crumble under the circumstances, but they don't. I had some serious manning up to do in a very short space off time…

Suddenly everyone started turning round and gasping. I grasped Draco's hand out of fright and we both strained to see what was going on. Then we heard it, "It seems, despite your exhaustive defensive strategies, you've still got a bit of a security problem, Headmaster, and I'm afraid it's quite extensive."

It was Harry Freaking Potter! It was him! I heard groans from my friends around me that all hated him. They were cursing and plotting before he'd even finished his sentence, but I was just in a startled state. It was Harry, the ballsy, audacious Boy Who Lived. He looked matured, aged from his year out. He was unkempt, obviously tired, and yet he'd just made one of the biggest risks of his life. I'd have at least tried to get a good night's sleep beforehand, but, once again, that is another thing that proves I'm not Gryffindor material.

It wasn't just Harry, either, a whole host of people were entering now. I didn't recognise probably over half of them, but I saw Hermione there, and the Weasley twins, and Ron, that French girl from the Twi-Wizard Tournament, Professor Lupin, Dean, Neville, so many security breaches that Snape was probably having a heart attack as they came in!

"How dare you stand where he stood," Harry continued, I'm guessing talking about Professor Dumbledore, "Tell them how it happened that night! Tell them how you looked him in the eye, a man who trusted you, and killed him! Tell them."

If you didn't think it could get any more dramatic at this point, you are sorely mistaken. Snape whipped out his wand (no euphemism) and pointed it at Harry. Then, McGonagall went and stepped out in front of him, poised for duelling and we all rushed to the sides, not wanting to get mixed up in it all. McGonagall started casting at Snape, wanting to fight, but all he did was deflect them as he was pushed further and further to the front of the hall. I guess he'd had enough, because he just disapparated in a puff of black smoke out the window. I'm guessing Alecto and Amycus went with him, because when I went to find them again, they'd vanished.

Everybody started cheering. Well, everyone except my friends; I didn't want to anger them, so I just grinned to myself for a moment, trying to restrain myself from clapping. McGonagall lit the torches in the hall, and I finally let go of Draco's hand. I went in for a big hug, but he didn't reciprocate as much as I'd hoped, "I was so scared," I whispered in his ear.

"I don't blame you."

But it wasn't over yet, not by a long shot. The room started growing darker again, and it became very cold very quickly. Girls started screaming, one by one, and I hadn't a clue why. I was getting scared again quickly, so tried to hold Draco's hand again, but he didn't really hold it back. Then it got even worse.

"I know that many of you will want to fight," this whispered voice began, "Some of you may even think that to fight is wise. But this is a folly. Give me Harry Potter. Do this and none shall be harmed. Give me Harry Potter, and I shall leave Hogwarts untouched. Give me Harry Potter, and you will be rewarded. You have one hour."

The flames grew thick and bright again, and heat started filling the air. That was He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, I'm guessing. Who am I kidding? I know it was him. Who else would go through such lengths just to capture some boy? Everyone started looking at Harry, who looked thoroughly flustered, and with good reason.

"Well, what're you waiting for?" Pansy piped up, "Someone grab him!" Oh, Pansy. You are, without a doubt, _the _biggest twat I have ever encountered.

Ginny stepped forward and stood in front of him, creating a barrier so no one could do so. Slowly, Harry had a large group of people doing the same thing. I loved this so much; not only did it show Pansy up, but it was beautiful. They were willing to die for him.

I didn't take notice of what was going on for a short while, now. I heard talking in the background, but didn't concentrate on it at all. This was it. This was the time to make the decision. Dad wanted me to know who I was by now and I think I finally do, at least partially, anyway. _Follow your heart_. Well heart, this is your time to take the lead. I stayed in my bubble until McGonagall burst it, "I would like you, please, to lead Miss Parkinson and the rest of Slytherin house from the hall."

"Exactly _where_ is it I'll be leading them to, Ma'am?" Filch asked in return.

"The dungeons would do," McGonagall replied.

Oh Pansy, you grade O twat, you've fucking done it now haven't you. Everyone in the other houses started cheering and I felt terrible. Not just for me, but for everyone else in the house who were now going to suffer and all because Pansy is a twat. I'm sorry, but there is no other word worthy to describe her at the moment; she was a twat.

We all filed out of the hall and I didn't speak until we were down in the dungeons, where the rest of the school apparently think we belong. I found a corner to sit down in and saw the others follow me over there, but remain standing. Once again, I heard them talking and shouting at each other but kept myself in my bubble, trying to stay out of the politics of what was going on. And again, the bubble was burst by someone, but this time it was Draco, "What do you say, Flo? You in?"

"Hmm what?" I replied.

"Did you not hear the plan?"

"Well, I think I got it. But just in case... tell me the whole thing again, I wasn't listening."

"Fuck's sake, Flo. Well, the Carrows are bound to be down here sometime soon, and when they are, we'll ask them to take us back up with them so we can fight-"

"Well, not all of us!" Amelia piped up, "I'm all for the cause, I'm just nowhere near ready enough to start risking my life for it yet."

"So, what about you? You're great at duelling; you're in, yeah?" Draco asked, thinking he already knew the answer.

If I was ever going to man up, it'd be now, "No."

"What did you say?" he asked me calmly; it wasn't a calm I was used to, though, not a calm that made him seem in control of the situation as it usually did. It was one in which he just stared blankly at me, no expression on his face to be seen. How was I meant to respond to this? How are meant to respond to a boy, who's been a good friend of yours for seven years now, who's obviously seeking approval and support in what will probably be the most stressful time of his life, with the answer he's not looking for, when he looks at you like this?

He looked at me in this stumped way for what seemed like a couple of years, although in real time it was probably no more than five seconds; as he did so, it not only felt like he was sucking out my soul, like the dementor he pretended to be all those years ago at the Quidditch match, it felt like he was looking into it, too. I can tell you this, there is nothing worse than having probably your dearest friend look into your eyes, judging whether or not your relationship is a lie.

This time, Draco shouted, "What did you say?!"

I stood up and looked him in the eye, banging the final nail firmly into the coffin of all my friendships for my Hogwarts career. This time, I shouted too, "I said no."

"And why," he started, still shouting, but now gripping the back off my neck painfully and backing me into the corner, "Do you say no all of a sudden?"

I shoved his hand away, pulling my hair painfully, as I started getting pissed off at his sudden change in mood towards me, "Actually, Malfoy, I'm not saying no all of a sudden. You've never asked if I share these views with you, you've all just assumed that I do and not thought to check. I don't hate Harry. I don't hate Dumbledore. I don't hate Gryffindors or Muggle-borns or Muggles. I've never been given any reason to, and I'm not going to mindlessly comply just because it's what all my friends and family think. _I am not a sheep_."

Pansy stepped forward and put her hand on shoulder, firmer than she would've if she's meant it to be caring, and smiled at me, "We know, Flo; you're not a sheep," the smile suddenly turned sour and she was now looking daggers at me, "But you are a traitor!" she shouted at me, proceeding to slap. The dungeon went silent, except for my former friends who oohed and grimaced around me. I did nothing but hold my right cheek and glare at her.

"Oh, I'm the traitor, am I?" I asked quietly, but then growing to shouting at Pansy, "I'm the traitor, am I?! Oh, this is _rich_ coming from you, Pansy! Am I not mistaken, or are you the same girl you fucked her former best friend's boyfriend?! Or am I confusing you with someone else?"

"Oh don't go bringing the up now, Carrow, it has nothing to do with anything."

"It has everything to do with everything! You're calling me a traitor, but you can hardly talk because you are too! Oh I've wanted to do this for ages. I kept all this below the surface for our friends' sake, but seeing as I blatantly don't have any anymore, it might as well come out!"

"Good! Because you won't be getting any sympathy from anybody this time! I bet it's been _glorious_ for you these last few months! 'Don't talk to me, Blaise cheated on me with my best friend', 'I'm fine, I've just broken up with Blaise because he cheated on me, that's all', 'I'm just going to get with Draco now, because Blaise cheated on me with Pansy', angst, angst, angst, I need sympathy!"

"YOU KNOW NOTHING!" and this time, I slapped Pansy, "Of course it hasn't been glorious for me, you _twat_! You make it sound like I've been lulling around for months on end, mourning my loss of you two bastards from my life, but you've seen me every day and you know I haven't! I've tried to get on with my life, to work my ass off trying to prepare for these exams that won't even happen now. And you know what? I've succeeded! I am fine now and it didn't take too long to become so, if you haven't noticed! Yes, people gave me sympathy, but I've never asked for any!"

"Oh, please! You didn't have to! Everybody viewed it as if it were the scandal of the century, and seeing as you were the little victim they all swarmed to tell us how we were terrible and how you didn't deserve to be treated that way. Well, you know what, Carrow? I don't regret it one bit, and neither does Blaise! He told me all about your 'cute, little relationship', and how he wanted so much more from it, and I know what he meant. He wanted fire from you, he wanted passion and steam and hotness and you gave him none of that! He didn't want some frigid bitch wanting to cuddle all the time."

"And he didn't get one! If that's what he told you, then he's the one who's trying to get sympathy. We had a great time in those first few weeks, fooling around and all, and then he started become frigid because of you! He probably told you he wanted more but meant that he was too ashamed to get it because he cheated! Not because I wouldn't give it to him!"

"Either way, he didn't get it from you so _I _gave it to him instead."

"Oh, for fuck's sake, Pansy, we'd been going out for well under a month! We weren't at a stage in our relationship where we were ready to have sex so we were both happy waiting for a bit! And I'd rather be that kind of person rather than the kind that is so loose and desperate for physical affection that she'll fuck anything with a pulse! Even if they don't actually like her or are going out with her best friend!"

Pansy charged at me, claws out and ready for battle. We started fighting, like _proper_ fighting, in the middle of the room; slapping, punching, kicking, scratching, biting, hair-pulling, anything we could think of. Anything, that is, until a booming voice sounded from just inside the doorway, "Who _dares _engage in physical violence in the middle of the dungeons while being punished for foolishly speaking out? Oh! Miss Parkinson! What a surprise," my aunt boomed, "And, who else is that?" her voice lowered once she saw it was me, "Florence? _What_ do you think you are doing?" We both remained silent, and I started feeling my way towards the source of blood that was trickling down my cheek, "As you were!"

Alecto approached us where we stood and my former friends joined us, too, "Why on earth were you two fighting?!" she asked severely.

"Florence has decided, Professor," Draco began, "That she won't be fighting for the same cause as us any longer."

"_What?!" _she boomed once more, then bringing her voice back down again, "Florence, is this true? I hope for your sake that it's not!"

I looked her straight in the eye and tried to come across a lot more confident than I actually was, "I've never intended to fight alongside Death Eaters, I have no reason to."

"Oh yes you do! It is in your blood! What about all those stories we've told you since you were little, they're all true!"

"I've never listened to them. I don't care if it's what you and mum want, I've made up my own mind, chosen my own views, and I can safely say that I don't share them with you."

"We'll just have to see what your uncle makes of this then, won't we?!" Alecto grabbed my ear and dragged me out of the dungeons.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

I didn't dare say another word until I was thrown onto the floor of a side chamber in the dungeons, I just kept my head down and looked at my feet, trying not to trip up as I went. When I looked up again, no one was there. Then, a few seconds later in a puff of black smoke, Alecto appeared out of thin air with Amycus appearing right beside her.

"I was organising, Lex! What could be so important?!" Amycus asked aggressively.

"Why don't you ask _her_?" she replied bitterly, pointing to the floor where I lay.

"Well, Florence?"

I sighed, "I… I think it'd be best if… I didn't speak…"

He frowned at me, "What does she mean?"

"Well, if she won't tell you," Alecto began, "Then _I _will."

"Or we could just leave the matter?" I interjected.

"I thought you weren't talking!" she scowled at me, "Our so-called niece here is a blood traitor. She's just confessed that she's not of the views of her family and friends."

"What?! Florence, is this true?" I nodded, "You'd better hope you change your mind before I tell your parents about this!" I remained silent, "No? Well then, we'll have to change it for you. _Crucio!_"

When I went to see them after Christmas about dad's illness, I guess he didn't really mean it, because having the Curse cast upon me this time was _the _worst pain I'd ever experienced. I slid back on the cold, stone floor and writhed in pain for no more than ten seconds before my aunt stopped him, "Amycus, stop!" she interrupted loudly. I thought I was saved, but I was wrong, "Let me have a go before she gets knocked out!" It was even worse this time, so I ended up letting out the scream, "This will teach you not to ignore everything you've ever been told!"

Once she'd had her fun, I lay on the floor for a bit, trying to gain the strength to get up. I compromised with propping myself up on my elbows, "Torturing me won't make me change my mind. If anything, it'll set it even me."

"Well, at least it'll ease some of the dishonour the family now feels," Amycus retorted, casting one last Curse before the door slammed open.

"What the fuck is going on in 'ere? I heard screamin'," Fenrir Greyback was standing in the doorway, looking confused but excited. I'd never met the werewolf before, but I'd heard stories of what he'd done and how he was; I can safely say, however, that they don't prepare you for the real artefact. Greyback filled the entire doorway where he stood with his enormous stature, no effort needed. Although he obviously wasn't in his werewolf form, thin, dark hair was spread over every visible inch of his body, and probably the rest too, except for most of his face. His eyes were a scarily deep blue with a small pupil in the middle; they looked hunger for I don't want to know what. His teeth were sharp and yellow. I think it's safe to safe that I was terrified of him.

"Our former niece, here," Alecto started, alerting me to the fact that I'd just been disowned by yet more people, "Has told us that she won't be fighting alongside us, so we were trying to make her understand why this was the wrong decision."

"Oh, torture? Now you're talking my language! So, how's it going?" Greyback sounded overjoyed and intrigued.

"Well, we're feeling the benefit, but I don't think it's taught her any lessons," Amycus answered.

His eyes widened at this remark, "I could, if you like," he started, licking his lips, "Teach her a lesson or two."

"You mean turn her into a werewolf?! That's barbaric!" Amycus let out, startled.

"Now hang about!" my aunt began, "Maybe it's not as bad an idea as you're thinking. It's set to be a full moon tonight, isn't it? If she were a werewolf, she'd have to fight on our side!"

They all started smiling, and my breathing continued getting faster and faster, "That _is _true."

"Okay then, if we're all agreed? I'm gonna have to ask you both to exit for a while. Girly, here, and me are gonna need a bit of _alone _time," Greyback ordered, trying to contain his excitement. As the door slammed behind them, and, as it did, he pulled me up violently by my arm and pushed me onto a table, "Oh, I am gonna _enjoy_ this!"

Greyback started leaning into me, smiling menacingly, and I tried leaning back to avoid him, but there was only so far I could go before I was just lying down. I squeezed my eyes tightly shut, hoping I'd escape from the situation, but I didn't, of course. I felt his coarse palm sliding up my leg as he sniffed along my neck and chest, chuckling every now and then, saying something like, "I sure am a lucky dog tonight!"

I felt him starting to lick a particular spot on my neck, "I think this spot'll do just nicely. Any last words, gorgeous, as a mortal witch?"

"Maybe a couple," I started, trying to be confident, with my eyes still shut. After trying to think of something witty or clever or actually useful, I resulted being what came natural to me: a coward, "HELP!" I screamed at the top of my lungs until was forced to stop, "HELP! HEEELP!"

"Nice try, sweetheart," Greyback laughed, with his forearm in my mouth acting as a sock, "But that's not gonna work tonight."

He gave me a few seconds to savour my last moments as a mortal, licking my neck again, and then prepared himself and his teeth for his 'treat'. I was just about done bracing myself when Greyback fell in a heap to the side of the table. I sat bolt upright, looking around for the source of what'd just happened in what was probably a very meerkat-like manner. At last, I found the source standing in the doorway, just in time before he ran away; he was pale-faced, silent, scared-looking, still with his wand raised.

This was the last time I ever saw Draco Malfoy.

I stayed put for a moment, still staring at the doorway and trying not to cry. A lot had happened in a very short space of time and I had a feeling that affairs would get more complicated before they got less so. So what was I going to do? I had no friends, no contactable family, no way out and no plan… So what was I going to do? Well, first thing's first, I would have to sneak my way out of the dungeons, completely unnoticed by anyone; student, teacher, Death Eater, they were all my enemies at this point. And let's say I could get out, where would I go then? I couldn't escape the grounds, but I could've gone and hidden like the coward I am. I could've stalked away to the common room or somewhere, it wouldn't even require getting out of the dungeons so that's one thing made easier. That was definitely the easier option.

But the easiest option, in this case, was not the one to take. I'd never forgive myself if I'd run away and hidden, so, instead, I just took off and hoped that inspiration would come to me. Getting out of the dungeons wasn't actually that difficult; the only people I met on my ascent were a couple of professors I'd never met and I first year or two, all very easy to bypass. I reached the ground floor quickly and felt stuck. I found myself rooted to the spot for less than a minute, trying to figure out a game plan. After I failed to think of one, yet again, I decided to set off up the stairs hoping ideas would come to me. They never did.

I found myself climbing higher and higher into the castle, with the hope that I'd think of something. By the time I was on the seventh floor, I could hear nothing but my steps and my breathing. It was the most quiet my life had been for a while that I felt the need to stop walking and breathing for a few seconds to fully appreciate the complete silence. It didn't last for long, though, because I heard Alecto and Amycus almost immediately after I stopped for the pause. I rushed quickly and quietly to the side so I was in the shadows, listening intently.

"Well, she has to be somewhere in this fuckin' castle, no one's seen her leave and any and all exits have been blocked!" Amycus started.

"You don't think I know that?" I heard the sound of Alecto's palm meeting his head, "That's why we're searching high and low for her!"

"Alright, easy! We're on the same side, remember?"

"Just shut the fuck up and keep an eye out."

I set off quickly, sticking to the shadows as much as I could, thinking harder than ever for somewhere to find. _Follow your heart_ I heard my dad say in my head. If only my heart had a bloody sense of direction! That would've done me nicely in my given situation. I guess following my heart wasn't bad advice for the time, though; my heart was saying 'Girl, you just need to find somewhere where they won't find you! You need somewhere where Alecto or Amycus Carrow or any Death Eaters or any Dark supporters can find you!'

Suddenly, I was saved.

A door appeared to my left and I dashed in. I felt like I must've slammed the door a little louder than I'd have liked, but I wasn't followed. Breathing rapidly and in relief, I realised that I'd never noticed this room before, let alone been in it, so I decided to explore further. After taking my first steps, I started to hear noises. Voices, to be exact, but I couldn't discern what they were saying. After getting near the room that the little entrance obviously led to, I started understanding the voice, and what they were saying startled me.

"No! Hush! I hear it again! There's definitely someone there."

"I heard it too that time. All of you, shut it!" that voice was vaguely familiar to me.

"Show yourself! _Now!"_ I heard a boy yell.

I stepped into the room and saw the faces of Neville, the Weasley girl and two adult witches staring at me, wands poised. Less than a second of standing there and a jet of blue light had already hit the wall by where I stood, "No! No, don't! I'm on your side!"

"And how do we believe that?!" the ginger witch croaked loudly.

"I- I- I don't know! Tell-"

"Well then how can we trust you?!" the other witch boomed.

"I don't know! Just tell me-"

"Get out!"

"But-"

"_Get out before we make you!_"

Once again, I was close to tears, "But I'm on your side. I want to fight with you!"

"But we can't believe-"

"I believe you," Neville piped up.

"How?!" the girl asked violently.

"Ginny," he put his hand on her shoulder, "Calm down. What do you have to do to get into this room at the moment?"

"Think about how we don't want Death Eaters to find us but-"

"Exactly! And only the people who've been staying in here know that, so no one could've told her, so she didn't want to be found!"

Ginny looked sinisterly into my eyes, "I still don't trust her. She's a Carrow!"

"Yeah but-"

"I don't expect you to trust me," I interrupted, cutting Neville off, "You have no reason to, apparently except for the fact that I found this room. But I _promise_ you that I am on your side, and I'll do anything to prove it."

There was an eerie silence as the women tried to figure out what to do, "I was going to go out in a bit," the ginger woman finally said, breaking the silence, "To meet up with the lot in the courtyard. The girl can come with me."

"Really?"

"Yes, but if you show absolutely any signs of betrayal, I am showing no mercy."

"I'd expect nothing less."

"Are you sure, Molly?" the other woman checked, "I could come too just to make sure."

"Or me!" Ginny weighed in.

"No! Tonks, Ginny, I've told you once and I'll tell you again, you two are to stay here! It's too dangerous for you!"

"But-!"

"_No buts!_" Molly boomed. She turned to me after, lowering her voice, "What did you say your name was?"

"I- I didn't. It's Florence. Florence Carrow."

"Okay, Florence, follow me," she instructed, leaving the room and heading to the door, with me following by her side. The castle was dark, the only light being provided by flashes of light going off outside, and all we could hear were yells, screams and crashes. Battle had started and I was realising that we were going to plunge into it in a matter of minutes.

We didn't say a word until we had left the first floor, descending the stairs to the ground floor, "Molly, look out!" I yelled as I saw black smoke arriving to the left of the stairs. We both ducked and, around a second after, a jet of red hit the banister. I closed my eyes and heard a buzz and then a thud. I thought Molly might have been hit by another spell cast by the unknown Death Eater, but it was the opposite; she'd retaliated and he was now out cold on the floor. She looked back at me and must've seen the surprised look on my face, "Nice one," I congratulated, "Is he…?"

"No, just unconscious. I won't kill unless I really feel I have to," Molly paused, maybe thinking about what she'd just said, "And thank you."

Her smile was comforting, although it felt a little forced. She got up and carried on down the stairs, wand poised for duelling, and I followed at her side. We hurried along the corridors at speed, keeping to the shadows and not saying a word, and I started to wonder where it was we were actually going. Just as I was about to ask, we came to a halt, "As you probably know, we'll be in the Entrance Hall when we round this corner, so we're near the end of the 'safe' zone, if you can really call it that. I know a few people who'll be out in the thick of it, and we're going to join them. Are you up to the job?"

Every inch of my body said no, but I couldn't give in to this, "As ready as I'll ever be."

"That's the spirit. Well then, no time like the present, let's go!"

As soon as we turned the corner, everything intensified; the screaming, the yelling, the smell of burning and crumbling rubble, the heat, the wind, everything. There was no way to prepare myself for the situation, so I allowed myself to become engulfed in it and just go with my instincts. We edged out of the main doors and were plunged into full-blown battle. Spells being cast left, right and centre, bodies on the floor, creatures like Giants and Acromantula roaming the space; it was terrifying. Grade O, rock-your-socks-off, and not in a good way, frightening, but something about being in the situation forced you to man-up somewhat. I suddenly felt brave. I also suddenly felt thankful to that crackpot Lockhart bloke for the duelling club back in second year; if it weren't for him, I wouldn't have stood an inkling of a chance. I felt like Protego and Stunning Charms were my best friends at this point. I didn't want to kill, just defend and fight for the right side, staying by Molly to prove that I was on that side to those who doubted.

The only downside to this was that all the Dark supporters were catching on, too. The ones that knew me through my family looked disgusted to see that I was fighting against them, but not enough to go out of their way to kill me; well, most of them wouldn't, anyway. Bellatrix Lestrange spied me from across the courtyard. I'd seen her once or twice before, around a couple of years ago, and she hadn't changed. She dressed all in black and some other dark colours, too. She had black hair that reached the small of her back even in its naturally frizzy, back-combed state. Her teeth were as crooked and yellow as Greyback's, just not as sharpened and fang-like, and her eyes were menacing even from far away. Her mouth crooked into a smile when she caught sight of me, but when she realised I was with others who weren't fighting for the same cause as her, the smile became evil.

Bellatrix set off, running towards me in her scuffed boots, constantly firing spells at me that would've knocked me back at force if I hadn't defended them. I was getting by by the skin of my teeth when I realised she was ten metres away. She let out a hoarse roar and pinned me to the wall, jabbing her wand painfully into my temple, "Well, look who it is! Ickle, baby Carrow's out fighting! But wait, has found some new friends? I spy a Weasley, is it with you?"

Molly was facing us, but not doing anything, "Yes, Lestrange, Florence is with us."

"Okay, that is all blood-traitor!" Molly stayed rooted to the position, but moved after Bellatrix boomed at her, "_Leave! Now! _And if you were wondering, _Flossy_, when I said blood-traitor, I didn't mean you. Although, I could've!" her playful, childish tone made the predicament all the more hideous, "So, what do we do with baby Carrow? I mean, we're going to kill her, of course! That's a given. But how? We could give Greyback another chance… But no, he hasn't earned it. We could give you to the Dark Lord… But he has other things on his mind. Well, I can't think of anything else, can you?" she took a tight hold of my cheeks and contorted my face, creating a shaking movement, "No? Me neither! I know! How about _I _do it? That seems like the best idea! What do you think?" she made me nod this time, "Oh, I'm _so _glad you approve! Yes, definitely, it does seem best for me to kill you."

"I disagree," a voice said from behind Bellatrix, "Let her go."

I thought I was finally saved, but, once again, my aunt dashed my hopes without even trying, "Alecto! And why do you think _you _should have the privilege of killing the blood traitor?" I started wishing for a saviour, anyone.

"Because she's also betraying the family. I think it's only fitting that someone she's betrayed more _personally_ gets to do honours." I was getting desperate.

"Yeah, fair enough, but you owe me a murder victim!" Bellatrix nearly skipped off, going to find another prey. Somebody needed to save me or it was going to be too late.

"You know you deserve this, don't you?" I stayed rooted to the ground, the only part of me moving was my head which was shaking, in disagreement and fear. I tried to keep my regrets out of my head, thinking only of what I was glad of; my dad, confiding in him, my friendships, Draco, even though he probably hates me now, the romantic times I had with him. I became considerably happier with these thoughts filling my head, so much so that I thought I might actually have a chance of someone coming to my rescue. I always _was _so naïve.

"A_vada Kedavra!_"


End file.
